The Great Food Debates

Posted in Food by TheStolenOlive on September, 11 at 9:14 amComments (0)

This Post, Called the Great Food Debate, was Inspired By Kate Hopkins, The Accidental Hedonist.

Coke or Pepsi? Neither. Gimme a Dublin Dr. Pepper made with Real Cane Sugar.

Thick crust or thin for your Pizza? Thin Crust or Nothing.

Rare or Well Done for you steak? Medium Rare please. Only a hamburger is acceptable cooked more than Medium. Anything else is BURNT.

Hot Dogs or Hamburgers? Hamburgers, Hot Dogs give me Migraines… darn nitrates.

Ketchup or Mustard on your hot dog? Don’t eat Hot Dogs.. but I am a firm believer that Ketchup should never touch Bread of any kind, regardless of accompanying meats.

Cake or Pie? Neither, Warm Gooey Chocolate Chip Cookies Right Out Of The Oven.

Brownies with a fine, glossy crust, or soft cake brownies? Soft cake brownies are not brownies. They are just wanna be cake missing it’s icing.

Nuts in the brownies? Yes, Pecans or Walnuts

Vanilla or Chocolate ice cream? Neither… Ice Cream needs some umph. Give me some Sea Salt Caramel or Nuts Or Something.

Blue cheese or ranch dressing with your Buffalo wings? Blue Cheese is the only correct answer for this.

Soup or Salad? Both? But only if the place is smart enough to serve Spinach or Field Greens and not that Iceburg Crap.

Butter on your Popcorn? Only if it’s real butter. That crap they use at movie theaters is not butter and is best used in 4-cylinder engine AMEN!

Pork or Beef barbecue? Pork for just eating, but Beef if you are using it as a topping to a Texas Tater.

Coffee or tea? Milk Tea Lattes with Bubbles

Beer from a can or a bottle? The only beer I will drink, Lindeman’s Peche, doesn’t come in cans.

Oreos or Hydrox? Not sure I remember what Hydrox tasted like since they were discontinued decades ago.

Little Debbie or Hostess? Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies.

Bacon or Sausage? I’m going to say Sausage..since you see it more at non-breakfast times.

Eggs Scrambled or Fried? Neither, Nada, None, Nope, Not Gonna Do It. I only force myself to eat eggs once a year… or if I’m getting sick. EEWW.

The Curse The Titanic Placed On American Politics

Posted in Politics and Bitching by TheStolenOlive on September, 9 at 1:09 pmComments (1)


With the election brewing, and some of my favorite bloggers coming back with their thoughts on the entire political scene, I decided that it was time for me to throw my hat back into the ring.  I’ve had the bug to start blogging again for a while now, but hadn’t given in until I received this link today over GoogleTalk.

Wal-Mart Moms? Voting for McCain? 

This threw me full force on to a soap box that I didn’t see a way off of without creating a post.  So, my friends… With this link, I am back.  

I will NEVER understand why those among us, who struggle financially more than others… still tend to vote for the Republicans.

   I was thinking of a way to explain my position to a friend, because I just want her to explain her position to me.  I’m never going to change her mind, I just want to understand.

Let’s think, for a moment, back to the movie… Titanic.  The ship had already hit the iceberg and they were beginning to load the life boats.  Rose’s mom asked if the boats would be filled according to class.  This is when I usually scream some expletive followed by the word Republican.  Republican… a party who’s entire purpose is to keep those classes defined and miles apart.  All the while, the babies… that they are so intent on being born… are drowning down in steerage with the rest of the “classless.”

I will never understand why those people…. who, along with me… would be down in steerage… continually vote for people who’s only goal is to keep them down there with the cold icy waters.

Indian Springs Park

Posted in Family, InspriationalForwards by TheStolenOlive on April, 21 at 9:12 amComments (0)

Again this year, the March of Dimes is holding their Walk to raise money for research to help end premature births and the treatment and care of those babies who are born early.  One of my best friends, Barbara and her husband Richard have been directly involved with March of Dimes as their son Connor was born three months early.

Connor Allen
Date of Birth: April 18, 2006
2 pounds 11.2 ounces
15 inches long

Not long before Connor was allowed to go home from the hospital.


Last year, Connor’s family was the ambassador family for Navarro County at the Walk.  They were featured in their hometown magazine.  The article about all they have been thru is included in THIS post.

This past Friday, Connor turned 2 years old. And look how cute and big he is.


Again this year, I will be traveling home to Waco to walk with this wonderful family to help money for this great cause.   Click HERE to see some pictures from last years March of Dimes Walk at Bledsoe-Miller Park, Waco, Texas in Waco.


Posted in InspriationalForwards by TheStolenOlive on April, 17 at 7:55 amComments (0)


I Am Twilight

Posted in BlogThings and Memes by TheStolenOlive on February, 18 at 9:26 pmComments (0)

When Is It OK to Tell Off Your Fortune Cookie?

Posted in Obessive Compulsive Geekdom by TheStolenOlive on February, 4 at 1:17 pmComments (2)



Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Posted in InspriationalForwards by TheStolenOlive on January, 31 at 11:03 amComments (0)

No matter what situations life throws at you…no matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem…
Remember, there is a light at the end of tunnel.
Scroll down, you’re going to laugh!


First 5-OT in Big XII History

Posted in SportsCommentary by TheStolenOlive on January, 24 at 12:23 pmComments (0)


Final Score:

Baylor           116
Texas A&M 110

Confused, Or Just A Sugar High

Posted in SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on January, 22 at 1:17 pmComments (0)


Anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?  I found this while reading an article on PopSugar about Tom Brady walking around in a walking boot on his right foot.

New Babysitter

Posted in Family, Z^2 and CC by TheStolenOlive on January, 22 at 12:03 pmComments (1)


Ever since Nana died, Peep has been staying with my parents on the weekends.  They set up my old bedroom with a new bedroom suit, a rocker and a TV for him to enjoy. 

My dogs, Zack and Zane, have really taken to Peep.  They watch him very carefully… they even follow him to the bathroom and sit outside the door waiting for him.  They let us know the time he fell.

My mom took this picture on Saturday.  Apparently Peep fell asleep watching TV in his room.  And Zack was sitting right there making sure everything was ok.

Aren’t they cute?


Posted in InspriationalForwards, SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on January, 18 at 9:59 amComments (0)


The strangest thing happened to me at lunch today. I was sitting at a local outdoor cafe having lunch by myself and two men came and sat down at my table… I gave them the evil eye, but they just casually stayed at my table and wouldn’t leave me alone. I shined up my ring on my married finger, then placed my hand on the table and I hinted to them that I was married and that I was not interested in them.

Luckily for me they got the hint and left, but thankfully the whole thing was captured on the Cafe’s camera. I’m sending you this picture as a warning… just in case they try and pick you up too.


Honestly, some men think they are God’s gift to women!


Then I fell out of bed and woke up!!!

FireSide Pies

Posted in Food, YELP Reviews by TheStolenOlive on January, 17 at 10:27 amComments (0)


*Below is a copy of the review I wrote on for Fireside Pies*

Well, Jen has already beat me to the punch on this review… but I will blame that on the fact that I was 20 minutes late to work because I couldn’t get out of my chocolate pizza sangria coma, oops I mean heated waterbed.

I know Jen knocked off the 5th star because of the wait.  Seriously, it was ridiculous on a Wednesday night to wait 67 minutes for pizza.  Damn Campers.  Finish off that one last sip of wine and the get heck on the road.  

I am going to knock of the 5th star for something much less trivial.  I promised you all that I had said this in the past and that I would say it again… so here it is.  WHERE ARE THE DAMN SUGAR CADDIES?   Ok, I really am not going to knock off an entire star for a sugar caddie because it took our waitress not even 1/2 a nano second to bring me one.  But I will knock off a star… for the reason that the sugar caddy only had Sugar in the Raw and Splenda.  WTF?  I don’t smoke, so I need to get my carcinogens some where.  I want my pink stuff.  Sweet n Low is where it is at baby.

The four cheese bread was good, but I think it was because we were starving.  I also needed something to soak up the alcohol in my empty stomach from my White Peach Sangria.  I had a couple of sips of Jen’s Red Sangria and it was delicious (and I don’t even like red wine).  But I my drank my Sangria to the point of making slurping noises trying to get every last drop.  

The tomato sauce on the pizza, and the dip for the cheese bread was good.  I’m actually not that big on tomato sauce and usually order my pizzas without it… but hey… when in Rome.

I want to go back to Fireside and try the Pepperoni pizza with the truffle oil or the Peta Pizza with the goat cheese and olives.  I loved Jen’s side of our pizza with the spicy sausage and ricotta.  I liked my meatball pizza, don’t get me wrong.  It was delicious.  I just liked Jen’s better.

I have one slice left of meatball and roasted onion pizza left for dinner tonight.  I had to save room for the dessert.




That brownie.  Pure chocolate melty goodness.  That sort of sinfulness should be illegal.  I have a feeling my eyes rolled back into my head a few times.  As an ex-boyfriend said one time after I took the first bite of the first Chocolate Oblivion Torte (now my signature cake) that I ever made… “I don’t like you eating desserts that do to you in one bite that I haven’t been able to do in two years.”  Yeah, this brownie was that good.  It was served with a cherry dipping sauce… which I avoided like the plague because I didn’t think breaking out in Hives amongst a very preppy-SMU crowd would be my idea of fun.

The cheesecake, oh my, I could write an entire review on this cheesecake.  Forget Cheesecake Factory folks, Fireside Pies is where it is at.  This cheesecake was soft and fluffy… and you could tell that it was actually baked in house… not some unnaturally smooth and perfectly shaped slice of commerically made goo.  

I normally don’t like fruit in my cheesecake… especially when the fruit turns the cheese cake some abnormal shade of liquid-baby-amoxicilin pink.  But not this slice.  It had a very thin and delicate layer of blackberry thru the middle.  Not too sweet, but a perfect addition.

Anyway…. I am definitely going back to Fireside.  Maybe dinner at 4pm instead of 7?

Results Of SuperWoman Attempt

Posted in My Body Is Falling Apart by TheStolenOlive on January, 10 at 12:20 pmComments (0)


See that bruise? On the middle finger?  Yeah.  That’s what happens when you attempt to be SuperWoman and carry five FULL two drawer metal file cabinets inside from your outside (patio) storage closet.



Posted in InspriationalForwards by TheStolenOlive on January, 3 at 9:05 amComments (0)


When The Heater In Your Office

Posted in Work by TheStolenOlive on December, 5 at 1:58 pmComments (1)

Hasn’t worked for two days… going to the little girls room feels a little like this.


Yeah, after freezing all week last week they finally called a technician out to check on the heater on Monday. He showed up Tuesday morning about 10am and told us that the 11 of us who work here are very lucky that none of were showing the signs of being effected by carbon monoxide.


Anyway, they turned off the heater and it has been freezing ever since. We’ve been taking 90-120 minute lunch “hours” because its just too darn cold. Today its in the low 70s outside. It’s in the low 60s in my office and we are all shivering. Occasionally, I walk out side to defrost… but then that effort is completely in vain as soon as I have to go to the bathroom.

Why Trampolines Are Dangerous

Posted in InspriationalForwards by TheStolenOlive on November, 27 at 1:20 pmComments (0)


The State Fair of Gluttony

Posted in Family, Food, SkewedReality, Social Events, Work by TheStolenOlive on October, 20 at 10:18 amComments (1)


(In the interest of time, this is a slightly modified repost from my Yelp! account. Yelp! is my new addiction website which allows users to post reviews on restaurants, doctors, retail establishments, etc.)

My 3rd year in Dallas and I finally made it to the State Fair of Gluttony not once but twice… and my parents are on their way here as I type for their first time in ages to the Fair.

The first time we went, with two friends (Hi Jenn C & Crys) it was HOT and the sun was shining and I had forgotten my sunglasses.  Expense part… that first day I was on a budget and was watching those coupons disappear left and right.  My office went as a group to the fair on Tuesday.  It was overcast & cool.  Most of the day, I wished I had worn long sleeves.  And the coupons were flowing straight from the company’s AMEX card so I was more liberal on how I spent them.  And the coupons that were left over will be used when my parents come up for a visit this weekend.

After strolling thru the Auto Show with my “Car-ie” co-workers… (yeah.. that’s people who like cars… since they feel the need to call me a “Foodie”).  Finally made it out to Fletchers for Corn Dogs.  My first visit to the fair yielded in a plain corn dog so this time I opted for the jalapeno cheese corn dog.  I will say it right here… if eating edible DOGs (corn or hot) makes you a “true American”… then go ahead & deport me.  I’ve tried… I just can’t do it.  Something about a rolled up piece of bologna with stitches on the end covered in non-sweet cornbread & that yellow mustard junk… BLECH!

Quickly had to find something to get that taste in my mouth and opted for the Cajun Black-eyed Peas.  They were delicious but I wished they were a tad bit spicier – (aka – they are too hot for normal folks to begin with).  I also shared an order of Onion Strings with one or two co-workers.  The Onion Strings definitely fall under the category of “Big Enough to Share.”  So find a friend to order these with or you will end up passing over nearly half a sheet of coupons.

We paid the extra $1 to walk thru the Baseball as America exhibit in the Science Building and I really enjoyed that… a lot of neat Baseball items on display from as far back as the late 1800s.  After the baseball exhibit, we were joined by our missing co-worker and then entered the food pavilion.  In here we sampled the Fried Green Tomatoes, the Deep Fried Banana Pudding and the Bananas Foster.  

The Bananas Foster was great considering that it was served in a 4oz plastic sundae cup… instead of Flambé tableside with white table cloths.  The Fried Green Tomatoes had a light and flaky batter that did not overpower the flavor of the tomato… and I loved the single piece of Fried Pickle that found its way into our bowl.  But, again … in my mind… the Fried Banana Pudding stole the show… after two visits and this is still my favorite example of Texas Fried Gluttony.

Walking thru the Midway, frustrated that we couldn’t use our coupons to play games… 6 coupons on a small bag of warm & fresh Salt Water Taffy, we found the 2nd best item on my list – Deep Fried Spicy Black Olive Bites. We even bought a second round of these delicious balls of goodness.  Salsa, Cheese & Sliced Black Olives, balled up and fried… and of course, served with the requisite side of Ranch Dressing.

After reveling in Black Olive goodness we decided to go watch the Top Flight K9 Dog Show.  I expected more as I was shocked when they said the show was over, because there were 3 more dogs within plain view that were never brought out of their carriers.  Also annoying was inadequate the PA system was in the arena… we had no idea what the dog trainer was saying.

Then we headed towards the Wine Tasting Booth, where a few of us partook in a 1 ounce pour of a potent potable.  I have never been much of a wine person but I went to the Texas Wines counter and tried a sample of the Llano Blush.  I actually liked it.  Um, actually… I guzzled it.  And then, we immediately stumbled upon the booth that was selling the ooey goodness of Fried Peanut Butter, Jelly & Banana sandwiches.  What a delicious bite of goo, and yes I mean bite – shared between 8 of us.  I know people eat PB &Js and I know Elvis followers mix their bananas with peanut butter… but I thought I was the only person who put sliced bananas on a PB&J.  And Deep Fried.  YUM!

A couple of co-workers indulged in the Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough after I told them it was NOT worth the calories.  Gosh, some day they will learn to listen.  I didn’t even waste a bite because I knew it was not worth it and I realized the corn place was just two stands down.  Fresh Lemonade & Corn on the Cob doused in Cayenne Pepper & Butter … oh my gravy.

The corn was just about the death of me, but the group just had to go get some more Fried Olives.  I think I had two of them before I cut myself off for the day.  Walking back to the car was miserable… and I had 3 days to recover before my parents drive to Dallas to go to the fair today.

I still haven’t had the opportunity to try the Fried Guacamole… but TODAY … I’m skipping the corn dog!  Go ahead and deport me!


Posted in Over My Head, SkewedReality, Work by TheStolenOlive on October, 19 at 2:24 pmComments (1)


This morning, my co-worker asked me to help her with her phone.  K said that something happened while she was talking on it Wednesday night and it somehow set itself to a permanent backwards mute.  No matter if someone called her or she called someone, they could hear her… but she couldn’t hear anyone.

I txt messaged my aunt & cousin as they have the same model phone to see if they knew about an option I couldn’t find to fix it.  My aunt called and told her that my cousin had had the same issue and to call the 1-800 # and get them to send K a replacement.

Of course, Customer Service isn’t just going to send you a new phone… they have to try to help you fix it first.  I only heard one side of the first part of the conversation… but it was obvious that K was getting frustrated and the agent wasn’t making themselves easily understood.

Then she told K to press the little round button and slide off the cover & pull out the battery.  K couldn’t get the cover off.  She told me exactly what the agent said and I couldn’t get the cover off either.  Another person finally got the cover off of K’s phone… the agent had told us to take off the wrong damn end of the cover.

Finally, K asked her… “have you ever even seen a phone like this?” hehe.

So… finally they said they would mail K a replacement phone.  To be sure someone was here to receive the delivery, K tried to give the agent our work address….

#### Street, SUITE 2  BigPCity, TX 75###

And by this time I was standing at K’s desk listening to the entire conversation… and I swear on all that is holy…. the agent said….

“is Sweet Two… one word?”

Mediocre – Another reason why I’m sick of this world we live in.


My mom called to check on Peep about 11am yesterday and he didn’t answer. Then my aunt called about 2 and said she finally got him on the phone and he was so weak he could barely talk.

My aunt called my dad and my dad got Peep back in bed while my aunt called my mom & the doctor’s office. They have been trying to find Peep a new doctor because they PCP guy they have been going to for years is, an !@#$(&$%^#@. The !@#$(&$%^#@ didn’t have an open appointment, so they asked if they could see his partner – the one he saw a few months ago. !@#$(&$%^#@ said, NO! You can’t see him. Then after a little fussing he said ok.

So, by this time… my mom had driven to the house and they got Peep dressed and drove him to the !@#$(&$%^#@’s office to see the partner. Once they got there… the !@#$(&$%^#@ had changed his mind again and said NO! You can’t see him. He can either have an appointment with me, or you can take him to the ER.

This is when my mother said… “Fine, that is exactly what we will do. We will take him to the ER. And this is the exact reason why you will never see us again you !@#$(&$%^#@.”

When they arrived at the ER, they said Peep had pneumonia. He had a fever of 102 and was too weak to walk. They gave him an IV and some other meds. And then…. The ID10Ts sent the nearly 86 yr old newly widowed pneumonia stricken weak man HOME! What the heck?

While in his bedroom last night, Peep fell, and being the stubborn old man that he is… wouldn’t let my strapping young 17 year old cousin or my aunt or my mom help him up. It took him 20 minutes to crawl back up to his bed. He has had two attacks since they got home of not being able to breathe.

So… why do I hate the world we live in? INSURANCE! That’s why. My grandfather will be 86 years old in December. The only prescription drug he takes on a regular basis is Allegra for his allergies. He has paid for health insurance for the past 60+ years. He has supplemental insurance on top of Medicare. But because he is on Medicare… my mom & aunt are having one heck of a time finding a new doctor to take him to. These money hungry good for nothing doctors won’t take new Medicare patients because it lessens the amount of money they get. They don’t even wait to ask if they have supplemental insurance to pay for the rest of it or not. They hear Medicare and that is the end of the story. This is the only reason they have been taking Peep, and Nana too, to Dr. !@#$(&$%^#@ for the past umpteen years… because of insurance.

God said, we will be judged by the way we treat the least among us. That AntiChrist who lives in the WhiteHouse recently just vetoed a bill that would pay for health insurance for kids. Over the past 7 years, multiple strides have been made to make health care for senior citizens worse… under the disguise of “improvement.” How, am I supposed to sit idly by while Peep gets shoddy medical care because of his age? He could pay for all of his medical bills outright if he needed to… but oh no… doctors won’t let you do that. You are just supposed to sit there and get substandard treatment because you are old and fixing to die anyway?

Days like this… Sure makes me wish God would come get us. If life is a test, then death is graduation and my Nana passed her finals with Flying Colors. I’m ready for my graduation day!

Bereavement Leave

Posted in Family, Nostalgia, Over My Head by TheStolenOlive on October, 4 at 12:34 amComments (1)


2:39 pm, Friday, Saturday 7th, 2007 was the phone call I had dreaded most of my life.  It was my mother telling me that they were taking Nana to the hospital in an ambulance.  She was having a heart attack.

I left work and drove home.  I threw everything I could grab into a laundry bag and a suitcase and I hurried up only to sit, on I75 South for over an hour just to get to I35.  Then there was a wreck in Hillsboro.  I talked to friends most of the way to Waco… trying not to think about what was happening.  I had talked to my dad about 515 and he sounded like they were going to be putting Nana in an ICU room and it was going to be ok.  I was completely blindsided when I walked into her Emergency Room to see her eyes closed and my mom & aunt crying over her.  She was gone.  I missed her, by less than five minutes.  I missed her and it breaks my heart to know that I was probably in the probably in the parking lot and walking into the building when she died.

My mom, aunt, dad and I sat in her emergency room and cried for a good 2 hours, waiting for the funeral home to come get her.  We cried so hard.  I had no clue how I was going to survive the rest of my life without her.  And then we realized, that we had to go home and tell Peep that she was gone.

The next morning, I woke up to my mother typing away on the keyboard in the room next to mine, writing her obituary.  We had an appointment at the funeral home at 10am, but it was quickly pushed back to 1pm.  We were at the funeral home until nealry 9pm that evening.

It was at this meeting that somehow I assumed the role of communications director.  I made more phone calls than I have made in my entire life within a span of 3 days.  I called everyone I could think of.  I called all of my mom’s high school friends.  I called family members who were out of town.  I called family friends.  I called people I have never met before, and people who I was raised around.  It was during this time that I realize how lucky I am to have been raised around all of my mom’s friends and that it wasn’t weird for me to pick up the phone and call people she went to high school with.  I called the preacher.  I called and asked 6 wonderful men to be palbearers.

Then, we realized that we didn’t like any of the programs the funeral home had to offer to be passed out during the service.  So, I spent most of Monday morning designing one with a big ole HEART on the front of it.  My Nana, she drew hearts on anything that would sit still.  She was the Bible definition of Love and she spent her 88 years making sure you knew that you were special.  We also realized that one of Nana’s close friends and the best florist in Waco was out of town until Sunday night.  This made our decision on having the funeral on Monday or Tuesday easy… because we couldn’t have the funeral without Harry.

Sunday was filled with more errands, more phone calls, more things to do.  And then it was time… our time as a family to go say goodbye.  She was beautiful.  She didn’t look a day over 60 and yet she was nearly 88 and a half.  Her hands looked younger than my dads.  Her skin was flawless.

Nana had told us that she didn’t want anyone but family to see her… she wanted the casket closed, but apparently we don’t mind very well.  We decided that she looked so amazing that it would be wrong and selfish to not let everyone who loved her to have a chance to see her and say goodbye.  At the visitation, Peep sat on a couch near the casket… my aunt, uncle, Jace, Jantzen and Jace’s new girlfriend, Haley (which we love and apparently didn’t run off) were at the front of the line.  My mom and dad stood at the front of the garden room where there were so many flowers it blew us away.  My cousin Kara and I worked the front of the line that led down the hall towards the front of the building.  Over and Over I was told how much I looked like my Nana.  I think I hugged all 200 people who came for the visitation Monday night. 

I have tried for a few weeks to comprehend just how much work Harry had to get done in one day to have all of those flowers ready by 6pm for the visitation.  I have tried, but I just have to tell myself that is one thing I will never be able to realize, other than he did it out of shear love for Nana.  After the visitation, we went home and put candles in the pumpkin pie that a neighbor brought over for us.  It was Haley’s birthday and she spent it with us.  What a sweetie.

Tuesday was the funeral.  About 9am, I realized that the only pair of black shoes that I had grabbed that blurr of a Friday afternoon were 3 inches tall and would sink straight down into the mud at the cemetery.  I called my one of my “sisters”  (the flower girls in my parents wedding, the older sisters I never had) who lives 3 miles from me and she went to my place to pick up a spare pair of shoes to wear to the service.

September 11th, now has an entirely different meaning to me.  It truly is the Day My World Stood Still.  The preacher, Dr. C,  had foot surgery the morning of the service.  The doc said that the pain medication would last until about 2pm and he told them they better make it stronger because he had a funeral to attend at 2pm.  The singer, put goosebumps on my arms when he sang “How Great Thou Art”… and I sat there and saw all the people who were crying… all walks of life, all ages, all socio-economic status, everyone my Nana had touched.

She used to tell us that no one needed to come to the cemetery because it was too far and they were all too old to drive out there.  As we were in the procession, my mom looked in her rear view mirror and there were cars following us as far as the eye could see.  My mom asked Peep, “what do we do? she said they couldn’t come to the cemetery, but they are following us?”

My “sister” taped the services for us and brought the DVD over one night last week.  Watching the last part of the sermon at the cemetery, the sun settled right behind the grave and glistened off a car window.  The glistening reflected back on the DVD as a huge Star of David right over the casket.  What a beautiful reminder that Nana was in Heaven and no longer hurting.

We spent most of Wednesday just spending time together as a family.    Thursday we went back to the cemetery and scattered all of the amazingly beautiful flower arrangements and sprays over all of the other graves in the cemetery.  We left flowers for my maternal great grandparents that I never got to meet, great aunts, aunts, uncles and even people we didn’t know.

Friday was my dad’s birthday.  As a family we all went out to eat and took Peep with us.  I can’t remember the last time my grandfather joined us for a meal on the town.  Saturday, I got my hair cut & colored and then I had to drive back to Dallas and face the next day, next week, next month, the rest of my life without Nana.

I dont know how else to close this post but to leave you with the Poem, that we found in Nana’s Bible.  She had written on the top of it “My Creed.”  So many people told me I look like my Nana.  Now I just have to try to live to be like her in every other way.  So, Nana… are were my hero, you were my biggest cheerleader.  I hope someday I will be able to say I lived by this creed as well as you did.



Forget the kindness that you do
As soon as you have done it

Forget the praise that falls on you
The moment you have won it.

Forget the slander that you hear.
Before you can repeat it;

Forget each slight, each spite, each sneer,
Wherever you may meet it.

Remember every kindness done
To you, whate’er its measure;

Remember praise by others won,
And pass it on with pleasure.

Remember every promise made,
And keep it to the letter;

Remember those who lend you aid,
And be a grateful debtor.

Remember all the happiness
That comes your way in living,

Forget each worry and distress,
Be hopeful and forgiving.

Remember good, remember truth,
Remember heaven’s above you,

And you will find through age and youth
True joy and hearts to love you!



Yes, I’m Alive

I haven’t posted anything of any substance since the week of my birthday… about 7 weeks ago.  7 Weeks ago was when my life started falling apart… again.


Well, first I posted about how AT&T disconnected my phone & internet for 5 days between August 14th and August 18th.  Yeah, when I called and told them I was moving to Bear Creek, the idiot put the wrong date in the system.  When I called to tell them I wasn’t moving anymore, they were like… sorry it’s already moving… two weeks before it was ever supposed to move.

I thought on the 18th that things were settled… I had a temp job to start on Monday and my phone and internet were back on.  Apparently I was wrong.  As my dad always says, “that’s what I get for thinking.”  The incompetent jerks at AT&T only heard the part of the conversation that they were cutting off my service on the wrong day… August 13th instead of August 31st.  They never heard the part where I said… “I lost my job, I’m not moving, don’t do anything to my service.”

I left town on August 31st for Labor Day weekend… but that’s a post that will be coming.  When I arrived home, I realized my internet had been off since Friday afternoon.  After 10 different phone calls, 3 different supervisors… and even filing an executive complaint… My internet and phone were turned back on… 13 days later! Yes you heard me.  September 12th was when my service was finally turned back on.  September 12th, I was still in Waco with my family after Nana’s funeral… and when I got home on September 17th… I walk into my apartment to a dead computer.

My power supply had bit the dust.  Dead.  So… I would like to blame the fact that I just haven’t been blogging on the fact that I had no phone or internet and/or working computer between August 13th – August 18th and August 31st – September 18th.  That’s probably not the real reason, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

So.  I’m alive.  I have a stable job.  And I have internet.  Hopefully that means I can say… I’m Back!

State Fair of Texas 2007 FUG

Posted in FUG by TheStolenOlive on October, 3 at 10:36 pmComments (1)


Ok.  Last Saturday I went to the State Fair of Texas with Jenn & Crys.  We were walking around at the end of the day and all of a suddent I was like… FUG FUG FUG. 

I posed with Crys so that Jenn could take this perfect shot for your viewing pleasure.

First of all… Lady, you are 50+ years old… the mesh shirt and black bra just dont cut it anymore at your age.  Second, those pants totally do not meld with the entire idea of your outfit, not to mention that they are only about 4 years out of style.

Honey, for the sake of all the kids & Big Tex… think through this one better next time, mkay?


The Best Nana In The World

Posted in Family, Nostalgia, Over My Head, SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on September, 8 at 12:11 amComments (4)


I lost my Nana today. She had been hurting for quite some time. They think she had a heart attack yesterday and then two more today.

My parents called me about 230pm and I left work, packed my bags & drove as fast as I could to Waco. I got there less than 5 minutes too late.

I don’t know how I’m going to do this.

Nana, come back! I need you.

Southernmost Orifice Dwellers


Ok.. now we are getting somewhere with these orifice dwellers at AT&T.

Why oh why, do i have to explain other people’s jobs to them?

The idiot who moved my service from the 14th (where it never should have been in the first place) to the 31st… never bothered to tell the DSL department to move it. My internet WAS cut off on the 15th, just like I have been trying to explain to them for 3 days.

I can’t stand companies that are so big that the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is doing… and we all know what the guys use the right hand for don’t we girls? It’s usually screwing something up.

So my DSL was cut off on the 14th, which I’ve been saying for 3 days now. And I finally found someone who sees that they were just blowing purple smoke up my rearend.

The interesting thing, is they are still saying there is a repair issue with my main line, and that a technician was scheduled to come out today. If you were to call my home phone, it would ring and ring… but I would never hear it.

And, because the fact that DSL piggybacks on the same line as my phone, even though this helpful tech girl sees what really happened, and has turned my DSL back on, it still isn’t working and I have to wait for the other department to recover from their case of Cranial Rectal Inversion.

Hopefully, by the time I get back from dinner tonight… I will have service restored.

What just infuriates me even more is that if I had not called and called today… my phone would have been restored today, but my DSL would have still been off.

My new empty apartment in Euless has had my internet access for 2 days. And I can just see that I will be raising Cain & Able & David Koresh next month to make them fix my bill and make them take off the transfer fees.

Oh the joy.

The Big 20+13 Week


What a week this has been. Last Wednesday I had my 30-day review at work. It was glowing. I had 4s & 5s on everything. Tuesday morning I walked into work and was told to pack my desk up. That I wasn’t capable of working the hours that were demanded by the position.

17 days before I was supposed to move to Bear Creek to get closer to work, I was let go from the only reason I was moving. So here I go again on my own.

I left work, came home for about an hour, and then returned to North Dallas to pick up a friend and go attend the funeral of one of my Weight Watcher’s Angel’s husbands.

After the funeral, WW meeting, and dinner at Abacus.. I came home to try to figure out what the heck to do. The only reason I was moving to the 817 was for work… so I have decided to stay right where I am. After I find another job, I might move into a 2bedroom apt in my same complex when one becomes available on the 1st floor.

By Wednesday morning, I had a temp job lined up for this coming Monday… and resumes going out all over the place courtesy of my WW Angels. And then, another blow.

When I set up my utilities to move, I specifically told them to move it on 8/31. I called AT&T on Monday, just to get my new phone number and they tell me that my service was set up to move “tomorrow.” UM NO! After arguing that issue I was finally like, I don’t care what your computer says, it’s wrong… change it to 8/31. Of course this was before Tuesday happened.

So… I get home from an interview at a new temp agency on Wednesday and I was informed that my “thestolenolive” yahoo IM wasn’t working. Hmm, weird. I had a feeling deep in the bottom of my gut what was going on. I called AT&T and they tell me that, my services were in the process of being moved and that’s why it wasn’t working. UM, I told y’all not to move it until 8/31.

The “customer service” (HA!) representative then canceled the move order all together and said that my IM would be working by the time I got home… I was out running errands while talking with these dorks. Anyway I got home about 4pm and not only was my IM not working, I had lost all connection to the internet & my landline phone was disconnected. So, here goes another phone call.

Just like the typical crappy utility monopolies such as Comcast and Time Warner, AT&T pulls in other departments to cover the asses of the department that fucked up. So… they begin to tell me that the order was canceled… that they didn’t disconnect me & that there was a physical problem with my outside line and that it would be Saturday before it was fixed. WTF…it worked 2 hours ago.

So… I had no phone and no internet the rest of the night Wednesday night. Sure as hell makes it easy to job hunt with no connection to the outside world besides a cell phone. Thursday I spent about an hour and a half in the front office of my apartment complex using their “business center.” I use the term business center very loosely as there is no Microsoft Office products on the computers… Internet only. One of the resumes that one of my WW Angels sent out brought a return phone call yesterday and I had to fill out a technology interview questionnaire. I didn’t know how I was going to get it done.

But, another one of my Angels came thru and told me to meet her in Plano and that she would let me borrow her laptop and wireless air card till I saw her again. We are going out to eat tonight for my birthday and I am hoping and praying my service will be back on tomorrow… I’m on hold with AT&T right now to get their story.

But, with the use of her laptop, I stayed up till about 4am this morning finishing the questionnaire and submitted it. It’s for a 4 month contract-to-hire position that pays more than I was making at my position that I left earlier in the week. And that job paid more than I had made in the past 5 years! Cross your fingers.

Today, I have been celebrating my birthday by being an utter bum! I haven’t gotten out of my pajamas yet. I’ve been reading blogs & myspace & facebook and the Weight Watchers community boards, and emails. I’ve watched everything on my TIVO and two movies. At some point between now and 8pm I have to actually move and get cleaned up and ready to go out to dinner.

I know that last month, Cheeky celebrated an entire month for her birthday… but if this is how well my birthday week goes… I wouldn’t survive an entire month.

They Finally Made Me A TShirt

Posted in My Body Is Falling Apart by TheStolenOlive on August, 17 at 1:04 pmComments (0)


That says what my grandfather has been saying my entire life, only to be validated with my Chiari Diagnosis.

God Is So Good


After starting a new diet I altered my drive to work to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies.

I felt this was no accident, so I prayed … “Lord, it’s up to you, if you want me to have any of those delicious goodies, create a parking place for me directly in front of the bakery.”

And sure enough, on the eighth time around the block, there it was! God is so Good!”


After about 6 weeks of a nasty plateau on my weight loss journey… I finally seem to have found the downward slope again. I stalled out at 25 pounds in June and hadn’t really been able to do much since then. But, hold your horses, I finally hit the 30 pound mark yesterday.

Yep, only 55 more to go.

And what did I do to celebrate?


I went with my friends Crys & Jenn out to dinner for KRLD’s Annual Restaurant Week. Restaurant Week is when over a 100 different 5 star restaurants offer a signature 3-course dinner prepared especially for Restaurant Week diners. This 3 course meal is only $35 per person! $7 from each dinner benefits the North Texas Food Bank or Lena Pope Home.

Crys and I had been talking about going to eat at Abacus ever since we found out that Cheftestant, Tre, on Season 3 of my favorite reality show, Top Chef on BravoTV, was the Chef de Cuisine.

So, at 9:30 last night, we had reservations at Abacus.

I had the Seared Diver Sea Scallop with Chilled Asparagus Soupand Preserved Meyer Lemon Olive Oil for my Small Plate, a Raspberry Limeade Sprizter for Intermezzo and Wood Grilled Pork Tenderloin on English Pea Risotto with Wild Mushrooms and Rosemary Port Sauce for my Big Plate.

It was all wonderful. Jenn ordered an extra side of Black Truffle Risotto and it was to die for. It was totally worthy of a “When Harry Met Sally restaurant scene.”

Then came dessert and we ordered the Dulce de Leche Banana Bread Pudding Myers Rum Sabayon, the Chocolate Brownie Pecan Tart Espresso Caramel, Mascarpone Cream and the Madagascar Vanilla Crème Fraiche Parfait Chilled Strawberry Champagne Soup and passed our plates around the table.

I splurged and had a small glass of Ceretto Moscato d’Asti, Piedmont, 2006 which was absolutely divine. I sure slept good last night and although I had had a particularly trying day, I am going to credit my good night’s sleep to the Moscato. That’s my story & I’m sticking to it.

After dinner the Chef de Cuisine himself, Tre, walked around the dining room and talked to all of the guests. As I shook his hand, I dorkily told him that he was on my Tivo every Wednesday night.

So, if you are in need of a amazing dinner to just soothe the frustrations of your day away, or to celebrate… check out Abacus! And go out to eat for Restaurant Week.

That Is All

Posted in Food, Obessive Compulsive Geekdom by TheStolenOlive on August, 11 at 8:04 amComments (1)

I Totally Stole This… But I Don’t Remember Doing It

Posted in My Body Is Falling Apart by TheStolenOlive on August, 9 at 11:09 pmComments (0)


I totally feel this way today. I felt this way yesterday. I think I have felt this way for at least the past two years. Yep. Two Years. Two Years ago today, I had my first of 9 MRIs that I had in 2005. Two Years Ago next Thursday, the first time I had ever heard the word Chiari, came slamming down on my world.

There went my dream of finishing culinary school. There went my closet of clothes that were already starting to get a little tight from all the wonderful food I was cooking in school, which were replaced with sizes 2 & 3 sizes bigger (thanks to 19 prescription drugs). There went my sanity and a more than a handful of friends.

I stole this poster from another Chiari sufferer. I read her posts, but a lot of times my network is so down I don’t know how to respond intelligently as she already said what I was thinking.

My arrant brain tail, and the subsequent topsy turvy world I lived thru made my life completely different from what I had invisioned when I moved to Dallas.

Things are finally starting to settle down. I finally found a job I enjoy that pays enough that I can breathe. I have been having a blast with my Weight Watchers Buddies, who are so much more than that… they are a support system. I’m starting to fit into that old closet full of clothes I wore during culinary school and before. I’ve got 10 corrugated boxes filled and will be filling quite a few more this weekend in preparation for my move in 21 days. Live in general is getting easier.

Unfortunately, my mind is still on the server & I’m connected thru a 9600 modem on most days and a 28800 modem on the good days.

I’m totally ready for something in my life to bump me up to at least DSL.

Attention Target Shoppers


I am looking for this bedspread set. It is sold at Target. It’s called the “Gypsy,” which is only appropriate with how much I seem to move around.

Only the curtain and the dust ruffle are currently available online. If you happen to head to the Big Red Dot… please keep an eye out for this. I need the sheets, etc. in Full Size. If you are not near a store I can easily get to… I will send you money to buy it and mail it to me.

If you can not find this set… but find one equally as pretty & unconventional (and not necessarily at Target)… take a picture of it for me. I particularly like the purples, greens & yellows in this picture.

My new 2nd bedroom in my new apartment that I am moving into in 26 days will thank you!

The Silencing Of The Loudest Man On TV

Posted in Nostalgia, SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on July, 29 at 7:56 pmComments (4)


“Good Golf, Good Tennis, Or Whatever Makes You Happy… Marvin Zindler Eyewitness News”

SLI-I-IME in the Ice Machine.

Today a Houston Legend, Marvin Zindler Passed Away Leaving Houston Touched By His Life and Never To Be The Same.

Marvin Zindler was “The irasible, flamboyant 85-year-old television personality remembered as the kind-hearted, grandfatherly figure in white wig and blue shades who delivered the weekly “rat and roach reports” based on health department restaurant inspections. After his ideosyncratic signoff, his most famous catch phrase comes from the frequent health inspector findings of (all together now) “SLI-I-IME in the ice machine.”

Marvin was hired by KTRK ABC Channel 13 in Houston in 1973, only weeks before my parents moved to the city that I call “HOME.” Before I was born in August of 1974, he had already broken his biggest story, about the La Grange Chicken Ranch. A story that went on to become a Hollywood Movie by the name of “The Greatest Little Whorehouse In Texas

I never watched another news channel, although as I child my mom said I would run screaming from the room when he came on TV because I guess his blue shades scared me. Maybe that is why he says he was fired from his first TV job because he was “too ugly.” He had more plastic surgery than Michael Jackson.

He was an institution in Houston. His grandkids went to the private school that I attended, although they were all quite a bit younger than me. I remember when he would come eat lunch with his granddaughter, it was like the biggest celebrity just walked thru the door.

Diagnosed just this month with his second bout with pancreatic cancer, which had spread to his liver, he continued to work, from his hospital bed. His last broadcast was yesterday. He died today at the age of 85, just 2 weeks shy of his 86th birthday.

RIP Marvin!

The Birthday Present That Couldn’t Wait

Posted in Family, SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on July, 27 at 6:33 pmComments (2)

Yesterday I got an email from my mother. It was a link to my birthday present. She had to make sure I was going to be off that day since my new job requires me to be on call one weekend a month.


Yep! Three tickets to go see Paula Deen Live at Dallas’ Fair Park Music Hall on Saturday, August 25th. It’s the weekend after my birthday and I can not wait. It’s going to be so much fun. Especially since my crazy mother keeps having dreams that I’m supposed to marry Paula Deen’s youngest son.

Hmm, wonder if he will be there too?

The Bear

Posted in SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on July, 18 at 9:15 pmComments (3)


A very wealthy lawyer vacationed for several weeks each year at his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Each summer, he would invite friends to come to visit him.

One summer he invited a lawyer from Czechoslovakia to visit him. The friend, eager to see how a wealthy American vacationed, gratefully agreed. They had a wonderful vacation, and spent a great deal of time exploring the woods and enjoying the natural setting.

One morning, as the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were walking through the woods, they were approached by two huge bears — a male and a female. The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.

Seeing this, the lawyer ran to his Mercedes and sped for the nearest town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed a high-powered rifle and they raced back to the berry patch. Luckily, the bears were still there.

“He’s in THAT one!” cried the lawyer, pointing at the bear that had consumed his friend. “Quick — shoot it. Maybe we can still save my friend!”

The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. His aim was true, and the female bear collapsed to the ground. The startled male fled into the woods.

“Why did you do that?” demanded the lawyer, “I said he was in the other bear!”

“Exactly,” replied the sheriff. “Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?”

Mosquitoes Anyone?

Quick! Before you scroll down to the picture below, put on your sun glasses… the glare will blind you.


See, told ya!

Yes, my friends… those are the back my pigment challenged legs. Although at the current moment they actually have more color than they usually do. Unfortunately, that color is RED. See all those dots? All 26 of those dots? Yep… every single last one of those is a mosquito bite. And those are only the ones on the back of my legs below my knees.

There are more on my arms, hands, neck, and the other 3/4ths of my legs not shown by that picture (ie, back of my legs above the knee and front all the way down). I think I have counted at least 20 more of them on the rest of my body.

Saturday I went over to a co-worker’s house for a birthday cookout. I got there about noon and I think the party ended a little after 9pm. We didn’t feel the mosquitoes biting us, but both of us were basically eaten alive.

Note To Self – Hey NitWit… Don’t wear a dress or skirt or capris to work the rest of the week until you no longer look like a leper. People were probably either calling to report a domestic violence case or FUG’n you all day today.

Tears in Confidential

Posted in WhenBlogsCollide by TheStolenOlive on July, 9 at 5:33 pmComments (4)


About 4pm I received a very sad phone call. It made me cry.

Confidential to my friend… Honey, I am so incredibly sorry you are having to go thru this. I’ve been there and it isn’t easy. You are in my thoughts and prayers and if you need anything at all, please let me know. I’ll do anything I can.

I Had Lunch With Your Mom Because That’s How I Roll!

Posted in BlogThings and Memes by TheStolenOlive on July, 1 at 10:18 pmComments (3)

I totally stole this from Bad Sheep, because that’s how I roll.

Work the 3 tables below, then: type out the sentence you end up with in the subject line of a blog post and copy this text. Also, link back to the blog you read it on. DON’T LEAVE ME HANGING ALONE!

Pick the month you were born:
January——-I kicked
February—–I loved
March——–I karate chopped
April———-I licked
May———- I jumped on
June———- I smelled
July———–I did the Macarena With
August——-I had lunch with
September—I danced with
October——I sang to
November—-I yelled at
December—-I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:

1——-a birdbath
2——-a monster
3——-a phone
4——-a fork
5——-a snowman
6——-a gangster
7——-my cell phone
8——-my dog
9——-my best friends’ boyfriend
10——-my neighbor
11—- —my science teacher
12——-a banana
13——-a fireman
14——-a stuffed animal
15——-a goat
16——-a pickle
17——-your mom
18—- —a spoon
19——- a smurf
20——-a baseball bat
21——-a ninja
22——-Chuck Norris
23——-a noodle
24——-a squirrel
25——-a football player
26——-my sister
27——-my brother
28——-an iPod
29——-a surfer
30——-a llama
31——-A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White———because I’m cool like that
Black———because that’s how I roll.
Pink———-because I’m NOT crazy.
Red———–because the voices told me to
Blue———-because I’m sexy and I do what I want.
Green———because I think I need some serious help.
Purple——–because I’m AWESOME!
Gray———-because Big Bird said to and he’s my leader.
Yellow——–because someone offered me 1 ,000,000 dollars
Orange ——-because my family thinks I’m stupid anyway.
Brown ——–because I can.
Other———because I’m a Ninja !
None———-because I can’t control myself.

Now type out the sentence you made and put in your subject line and copy the text of this post.

Don’t forget to link back to the person that tagged you!

59 Days And I’m Moving

Posted in Over My Head, SkewedReality, Work by TheStolenOlive on July, 1 at 2:18 pmComments (2)


It’s Official.

I turned in my 60 day move-out notice yesterday. I will be leaving the mall-crazy suburbs that I have shared with the DallasKs, MommyMe & FootballWidow on August 31st. I’m cashing in the posh life of the northern Dallas burbs for the more laid back BearCreek burbs of the MidCities.

For the past 2 months, I’ve been commuting from the burbs to the Galleria. Sitting in traffic for an hour every morning is just not my idea of fun. And, now that I am an official full-time employee of said new job, I realize that when they pack up our offices and move us over to the “Silicon Valley of North Texas” that the time sitting in my car each morning would only get worse. So, I’m going to beat them to the punch and move closer to our final destination. My new place is only 10.3 miles from where the rumor is our new office is going to be. BINGO! I also have a co-worker who lives 4 miles from my new apartment and we will be able to car pool and save money on gasoline & wear and tear on our cars & be a little bit more green.

I started my new job on Monday. It was a long week. It was a frustrating week as I have no clue what I’m doing and the person training me isn’t what I would call “training material” He is totally nice enough, just can’t seem to understand that you can’t show me and explain what to do at step 435,498 when I’m still on step 2.

I’m also dealing with a weather induced depression. I have had SAD for years, where I am just miserable from about October – March when the sun takes a siesta and everything is drab and dreary. But, this year… the rain didn’t stop in March… It’s July and no end in sight. We haven’t had Summer yet. I am still ready for hot sunny 100 degree days just so I can finally kick this SAD to the curb. RAIN RAIN GO AWAY!

Anyway, a Weight Watchers Taco Bake is in the oven, an entire cut up watermelon is the refrigerator getting good and cold, and there are boxes in my dining room ready for me to fill them up.

Anyone wanna come help me pack?

It’s June 27th, 1912

Posted in SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on June, 27 at 9:33 pmComments (2)


For those of us who not only remember Somewhere in Time, but who count it as one of the greatest movies ever made, today was the turning point that made this movie the timeless lovestory that it was. This movie also produced what I believe is one of the most beautiful soundtracks ever recorded.

I am a member of the The International Network of Somewhere In Time Enthusiasts and today I received an email about the Annual Somewhere in Time weekend at the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island, Michigan. This weekend is when enthusiasts converge on that breathtakingly beautiful hotel for a weekend of love and nostalgia for our favorite movie that the critics have so conveniently ignored for the past 27 years since it was made in 1980. I truly believe it was “The Most Romantic Love Story Ever Filmed”


For only the 2nd time in 17 years, Jane Seymour is actually going to be in attendance during this weekend. I would love more than anything to go to SIT Weekend but after 4 months of unemployment, I dont think I can come up with the $1200 for the weekend, not including airfare. Maybe someday I can go on an SIT weekend before Jane Seymour dies… I breaks my heart that Christopher Reeve will never be there again.

But, if we learned anything from Somewhere in Time, Chris & Dana have joined hands in heaven.

Instant Karma

Posted in SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on June, 22 at 1:36 pmComments (0)


Hello. This Is A Call Regarding Cancer

Posted in SkewedReality, Work by TheStolenOlive on June, 20 at 1:55 pmComments (2)


Since 12:00 noon today, I have received no less than 40 phone calls. This is more phone calls I have had to answer in 3 hours than I have had since I started working here May 9th.

Every phone call was the same thing. It was a recording. A Man’s voice. Speaking Slowly and Succinctly.

“Hello. This Is A Call Regarding Cancer and the 7 signs you should be able to recognize.”

Then it gives you the option to press 1 to hear those signs, or to press 9 and be removed from their call list.

Um, yeah.. I have pressed 9 every time. They are still calling. I’m going to pull my hair out.

By the time I start my new position on Monday, I will be bald if this dork on the recording doesn’t stop calling me.


Posted in Weigh In Wednesday by TheStolenOlive on June, 16 at 2:53 pmComments (1)


I finally hit Onderland officially. I went to WI this morning and was down 2.2 pounds which was enought to finally say goodbye to any # that started with a 2–.

Off to take my Saturday afternoon nap.

Offer Letter

Posted in Work by TheStolenOlive on June, 15 at 2:56 pmComments (3)


I was just told that they are going to make me an offer for the Data Telemetry position I interviewed for yesterday. The offer letter is being prepared and should be delivered on Monday.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

Brain Dump

Posted in Over My Head, Weigh In Wednesday, Work by TheStolenOlive on June, 14 at 1:38 pmComments (1)

Yes, I know… I haven’t posted a real post in forever.  The truth is, I just haven’t been feeling it.  I haven’t been feeling anything actually.  OR, maybe I’m feeling to much and have retreated to my couch. Things get scary when I retreat to the couch as the thoughts that go thru my brain are not always fun and are 99% of the time not positive or happy.
I’ve had a couple of posts in “draft” for months that I just haven’t finished. One told the story about my leaving work and I decided I didn’t like where the post was going so I just left it there and never finished it. There are so many ways I could cause some legal problems for my previous employer, especially since I documented it all either thru non-descript posts using made up names, or via the History files that are created when you send an instant message exclaiming “Oh My God”. With supervisors calling me stupid within ear shot, to office mates spending 5 + hours a day on the phone talking to their hubby about what they wanted to do to them when they got home. And the huge number of hours I was not paid for illegally because they docked me for 30 minutes for lunch every day regardless if I ever even had time to heat up my Smart Ones. But I decided to just drop all of it and leave it in the past.

My life is so much better since I left that place, even if it means shelling out over $340 a month for Cobra. If you remember last year… I got bronchitis 3 times between February and June. Stress & Depression & overall hatred of your work environment can physically make a person sick.

I had 22 days of unemployment, which was pretty much appropriate for the 22 MONTHS of HELL I worked thru at LiquorDistributors. Then I had a great long term temp position that I had hoped would have turned into a fulltime permanent job. But, the last week of April I was told they hired someone else and I was off to a few other temp jobs.
For the next three weeks I worked at a three different temp places and had 2 days off.  The last place I started at on May 9th, I’m still there. I’ve been temping in the Office Administrator position and after the 2nd day they have been openly discussing hiring me full time. I think the biggest issue is the conversion fee from the Temp Agency that has to be paid which I totally understand. If I stay a temp until August 9th, that fee is waived.

Another issue is that they are fully aware that they have to be very diligent in coming up with projects to keep me busy while I wait for the phone to ring, or find a way to merge the Office Administrator position with another open position to keep me busy during the day. Helping out in the training department or the accounting department or even the IT department are possibilities.

For a few years now, if anyone asked me what my dream job would be it would say… working as a trainer for a software company that makes accounting software. Well, guess what! This is a computer software company that provides electronic data processing of accounting documents between huge conglomerates & little bitty mom & pop places that can’t afford their own IT department of sorts. Bingo!
Well, the HR called last week because there was a position that opened up a week or so ago when an employee quit. He was a Network Monitoring Engineer and after looking at my resume, the HR people & the IT people thought I might be qualified for the position.

At first, I was very scared they had a little more confidence in me than I have in myself. I haven’t worked in a “tecky” position in forevery, haven’t written even a “Hello World” program in Basic in over 5 years… much less network Korn shell scripting. I would hope that it is like riding a bicycle and it would all come back to me but I think I also worry about my brain.

One of the biggest things I see people complain about on my Chiari support group is “brain fog.” Sometimes I can be cooking dinner and can’t remember how many 1/4 cups equal a cup. My mom says I’m just getting old (I think she’s trying to make me feel better)… but at 32 1/2 that argument really doesn’t fly.

I think I’ve lowered my expectations of myself because of my Chiari so much that I’m willing to give up a great job to sit and wait for a phone to ring and an occasional Excel spreadsheet. I emailed an friend who I went to school with (and dated for 2 years) and he tried to talk me off a ledge. Reminding me that I actually had to help him with our homework for our network programming class.

So after being pulled off the ledge, I returned to work the next day and said yes, I would be interested in that position. The head of that department flew in from our California office today and is interviewing me and a few other candidates. My interview is at 5pm. I love the fact that I am not jeopardizing my chances of being hired full time for my current position or any other position by going thru with this interview, because they know they are trying to find a good fit for me.

The position I am interviewing for has its good and bad side. On the good side, it would be good to finally have some strong industry experience using my actual college degree instead of just teaching programming. It would also involve a higher pay scale due to the sheer amount of time on the job. The negatives are that I would be on-call 24-7 which would make it harder for me to finally take the GMAT and start my Masters degree online if I was always at work.
On another issue, my work is currently located near the Galleria but has turned down the option to renew our lease at the end of October and will be moving between now and then. They have already set in motion the process of finding a place to move to in the Las Colinas area. I have decided that when my lease is up August 31st, I will be moving yet again, this time closer to work. Driving from the MallCrazy Suburbs to the Galleria is bad enough with gasoline at $3.00+/gallon, I wouldn’t want to see how bad it would be driving that much further. One of my co-workers is moving this weekend and bringing her empty boxes to me on Monday so that I can start packing. Anyone want to help me pack & move Labor Day Weekend?
On the Weight Watchers issue, I have certainly slowed down in the weight loss department. I missed WeighIn last week because I went home for the weekend, but I plan on going this Saturday. I’m currently at 26.8 pounds and am hoping that number will go up to 28 or 29 this week. I should at least officially hit ONEDERLAND this week.

I know it is enough that NONE of my clothes fit anymore and until I stop paying for Cobra, I don’t have the money to replace my wardrobe. I have half a closet full of size 18s (and some 20s) that are huge on me but I can still wear if the pants have belt loops. The other half of my closet is size 14s and 12s that I have brought back from my storage shed.

Apparently while I was wearing size 16… I was going to culinary school and all I had to wear was my chef’s pants and jacket, cause I apparently never bought many size 16s on the way up to those other numbers. If anyone has any need for size 18s please let me know, I’d love to give them to a good home. On the flip size, anyone have any size 16s that don’t fit anymore? I promise to take very good care of them.
You may have noticed that I finally fixed my blog. I’m not sure why I left it so incredibly ugly for so long other than going back to my “just not feeling it” excuse. I think I can also blame my brain fog on not being able to get my template to do what I wanted it to do. Tuesday night, I decided it was time to fix it and I fixed it and created a 2nd blog on a subdomain for my fellow Weight Watchers. Dirty Martini, as it is called, already has over 25 posts of recipes so feel free to check it out. I have in the back of my mind another blog but I don’t have it finished yet. Over the past few months, as the number of people registered for my Chiari support groups has grown, so has the number of Chiarians in the DFW area. I’m working on starting a blog for my fellow sagging brain tail buddies, as we are not able to voice a lot of things we would like on our support group because the moderators will reject posts with Drs Names, links to non-prescription items of relief etc. I sent a reply today to someone about Biofreeze and was kind enough to actually include the link to their website and they rejected my comment just because of the link. WTF?
Anyone else notice that everyone is playing reruns on TV now? Even the daily talk shows like Oprah, Ellen & Rachael Ray. Yes… I did quit watching the View after Rosie left. It’s so annoying to go thru my TIVO every evening and see I don’t have anything to watch because it taped nothing but reruns all day. At least last night I had the 1st episode of Season 3 of Top Chef to watch. The one contestant from Dallas, Tre, won the challenge last night. May have to go check out the restaurant he works at here in town.
Why is it that traffic has gotten WORSE since school let out for the summer instead of better? Totally backwards. Kinda like how the “fast lane” is the slowest lane to be in on I75. The 2nd lane from the left is always faster. Makes no sense whatsoever.
What is with these flying alien mosquitos? They are big enough to play stunt doubles for characters on the Men In Black series. Somehow I got about 7 bites on my back, just in a spot where I can’t scratch. Probably got them when I was either cleaning out my storage shed back home or going thru boxes in my parent’s garage looking for my old Korn textbooks so I could study up for my interview today.
Anyway, I think my brain is sufficiently empty now. Hopefully I’ll post something again before November.

Happy Birthday MAMA!

Posted in Family, Nostalgia by TheStolenOlive on June, 13 at 12:01 amComments (1)


Hope you have a great day! I love you!

Attention Botanists

Posted in My Body Is Falling Apart, Work by TheStolenOlive on June, 6 at 8:35 amComments (0)


This picture probably sucks cause I took it with my crappy cell phone camera.

Every Monday we have two huge flower arrangements delivered to our office.  One sits on either side of my desk.  I’m not sure what is different this week, or heck it could just be the fact that it finally decided to stop raining, but I am getting some major headaches.

Anyone recognize any of the particular plants in this arrangement and/or know if they might be good at causing allergies?

Some Notification Would Have Been Nice

Posted in Open Letters, Work by TheStolenOlive on June, 4 at 12:23 pmComments (5)


To the Maintenance Crew Over TLC (Office Building)

It sure would have been nice to know prior to sitting down in a stall this morning that your crew installed automatic flushers over the weekend.  Two of my co-workers have been surprised by a flush long before the final curtain was pulled.  I actually had to search for and press the manual over-ride button as it didn’t see me jumping up and down waving my arms screaming I’m done, I’m done.


Sometime Online Petitions Need To Work


Attention All!  There is a new online petition out there.  It’s called Fire Elizabeth Hasselbeck.  I know online petitions don’t usually get anywhere at all or do anything… but I believe in this one, and this one needs to work.

This blonde dingbat is nothing but a blind puppet for the Republican pundits and she is coached every morning by the Executive Producers on what to say.  She was even invited to some dumb dinner at the White House and patted on the back by Shrub himself, as if to say… “Well done, good and faithful puppet.”

I think over the past 8 months I have Tivo’d and watched every episode of TheView.  Elizabeth just doesn’t get it.  I have agreed with 99% of Rosie & Joy’s political views and statements. 

I have regurgitated in my mouth every time I even hear the name Donald Trump.  He’s a MISOGYNIST fool who has lived his entire life off of his daddy’s money.  He has absolutely no intelligence whatsoever and doesn’t even know how to fight with anyone with an intelligence level higher than a kindergartener.  Ooops, sorry.  I just realized that LittleMan and Nik are fixing to be in Kindergarten and both of them are way more intelligent than the DumpTruck.  I think Donald should stick to fighting with ferrets, he apparently loves them so, since one resides permanently on top of his head.

Which leads me to my FUG Thursday submission.



I’m sorry.. but what the hell is that dress Elizabeth has on?  I know she’s preggo but they make a lot of cute maternity clothes.  This dress is just ugly.  AND, had the cat fight between her and Rosie continued any longer, I have no doubt in my mind that her newly developed boobs would have come flying out of the front of it.

Visual DNA

Posted in BlogThings and Memes by TheStolenOlive on May, 30 at 5:57 pmComments (1)
Read my VisualDNAâ„¢ Get your own VisualDNAâ„¢

Do My Feet Stink?

Posted in Cartoons by TheStolenOlive on May, 25 at 9:06 amComments (4)


Open Letter

Posted in Open Letters by TheStolenOlive on May, 24 at 4:00 pmComments (0)


To the Cleaning Crew Who Cleans My Office

Why is it that you have to the be only cleaning crew in the history of cleaning crews to not leave at least one extra trash bag in the bottom of the trash cans?  We are having BIBLICAL storms outside and my umbrella is in the car… and the one time I need a trash bag… you don’t leave one.  I’m going to be drenched before I get to my car.  Soaked To the BONE!

Start leaving extra trash bags or I’ll have to stab you in the neck with my umbrella.


I’m Getting Sick

Posted in My Body Is Falling Apart by TheStolenOlive on May, 23 at 1:25 pmComments (3)

How do I know?

Because when I start to get sick, I start eating stuff I hate for no apparent reason.  I only eat eggs (other than boiled) when I’m sick.  I only eat ham when I’m sick.  I only eat hot dogs when I’m sick.

What did I have for dinner last night?


3 $0.89 Corn Dogs with yellow mustard.  Mustard?  YUCK! I hate mustard.

Yep… I’m getting sick.

Staubach Wins Another Super Bowl

Posted in SportsCommentary by TheStolenOlive on May, 22 at 1:18 pmComments (2)



Da’ Boys have played in more Super Bowls than any other team.  But until 2011, they have never got to host one.

Obviously, the rest of the NFL are scared of Texas Stadium & God’s Window.  But, since they are building a new stadium in Arlington, to be completed in 2009, North Texas finally gets it’s chance to host the biggest game of the year.

LadyFonseca… start a savings account now cause we are going to the SuperBowl.

Still Playing It In 2007

Posted in Politics and Bitching, SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on May, 17 at 12:54 pmComments (5)


Yes, Ok.. I admit it.  I watch American Idol.  I don’t call and vote and I fast forward thru the commercials and most of the results show (God, I love TIVO).

Well, unlike some, I wasn’t shocked to watch Melinda Doolittle be voted off, but not because of the color of her skin… but because she didn’t have the stage presence or the personality of an Idol.  As LadyFonseca said, ” IF THE SHOW WAS CALLED AMERICA’S GREATEST SINGER THEN I THINK SHE SHOULD HAVE WON.”

Today, on the message boards, there were a lot of reactions to Melinda going home… but the one that caught my eye was … A post (which they have now deleted).. and the 24 pages of responses that said…

The fact that Melinda was voted off was because she was black and if she had been white she would have won it all.

Um… ok.  What the hell do you call Reuben and Fantasia?  Is Jordin part white part purple?  WTF?

No wonder there is still racisim in the world.  Don’t get what you want…blame it on the color of your skin.  Soo very shallow.

Take your race card and buy yourself a condo in HELL with Jerry Falwell.

Congratulations Jordin & Blake… you were my favorite two from the beginning.

Um, Excuse Me?

Posted in Work by TheStolenOlive on May, 16 at 3:52 pmComments (6)


Me:    {Insert Company Name Here} this is Aimee, how may I help you?


Me:  Um, Excuse Me?

Crazy Lady:  Is this {Another Company Name Here} in Canada?

Me:  This is {Insert Company Name Here} in Dallas, Texas.

Crazy Lady:  *click*


I received this phone call after returning from my afternoon trip downstairs to the mailbox.  I noticed there was also a blinking light on the phone indicating there was a voice mail on the main line.  It was Crazy Lady.

Crazy Lady:  If you think I am going to stay on ADE without reaching someone you are sorely mistaken. *Click*

Ok then.  PSA… if you are going to call and cuss out a company for upgrading your software to something that sucks… make sure you can dial the correct phone number before you start your rampage.  That is all.

Great T-Shirts For Women

Posted in Cartoons by TheStolenOlive on May, 16 at 12:15 pmComments (2)


Damn Damn Damn Damn Damn It

Posted in Politics and Bitching, SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on April, 25 at 7:29 pmComments (4)


Did I mention DAMN IT?  Rosie O’Donnell is leaving TheView.  She was the only reason to watch that show.  Not only did she make the show entertaining, she also brought a life to it and a life to those of us who’s only outlet to bitch is our blog.

The media has distorted everything she has said over the past year.  The media has gone after everything she has said, not with intelligent discussions, but with insults of being fat and a lesbian.  While, I am not a lesbian I do take offense to the fat remark.  Why do people use that as an insult?  Do you think I don’t see the rolls and the stretch marks when I look in the mirror?  Do you think I don’t see my 3 chins in all the Blog Blowout pictures even after losing 24 pounds and going down 2 pants sizes?

She is outspoken, yes!  But what she is saying needs to be said.  Why is Anna Nicole Smith on TV for over 3000 stories but nearly nothing about the 3000+ men and women we have lost (and the 10s of 1000s more that have been severely hurt) in this useless and illegal war.  How many crimes and unethical instances of CRAP does Shrub have to pull off before we impeach his ass?  (oh yeah, impeach Cheney first).  Sure, they tried to impeach Clinton… for lying.  So the hell what?  He was lying about a damn blow job.

Like when Oprah asked Obama about admitting to recreational drug use as a college kid… she asked him if he inhaled… his response was… “Isn’t that the point?”  We focus on shit that doesn’t mean anything about running a country… but ignore the blatant injustices that have made us the laughing stock of the world. 

I’m not surprised she is leaving The View, I’m not surprised the powers that be found a way to shut her up.  I’m just extremely disappointed that our loudest patriot is being silenced on June 21st.

Damn IT.

The Aftermath

Posted in WhenBlogsCollide by TheStolenOlive on April, 24 at 10:33 pmComments (8)


Well, Blog Blowout Houston has come and gone, and I’m already missing my bitches.  I had a blast!  I think every time we do this it gets harder and harder to leave on Sunday acause the friendships we have made thru blogging keep getting stronger.

I was able to leave work about 3pm on Friday and got to Houston just in time for the party to start.  I had hoped to stop in Corsicana to visit with Barbara and Richard and Connor on my way to Houston, but I found out as I was driving south… they were driving north to Cook’s Children’s Hospital because Connor’s shunt was malfunctioning again.  Little Connor was in my brain and my prayers during the entire Blowout Weekend. 

We spent most of the evening sitting outside eating chips out of a football (because we were missing our resident FootballWidow).  Talking about every subject imaginable, falling in love and planning our failed attempts to steal Zeus, drinking suitcases of beer & weight watchers margaritas.  YES, you heard me.  Weight Watchers Margaritas.  Why? Because we had to save our points for Sheri’s Guacamole & SuZan’s Brisket.  Yummo!

Then, I’m not quite sure how this happened but the subject turned to tattoos.  I was game for riding in the car and taking pictures, but I do not do needles.  But there were some hillarious phone calls to hubby’s from bloggers who were not their wives asking for permission to get tattoos.  Then there was a pile of girls in the SoccerMomRide driving thru Suburbia Houston looking for a place to get inked.  No such luck.  We did, however find a Taco Cabana and our driver burped in the face of the poor little girl taking our money for our tortillas.

Carrie and I went back to her place to take care of Jade, Leroy & Sarabi on Jade’s last night with StepMom.   Leroy woke me up about 720 Saturday morning wanting me to scratch his back.  If I had known that TBG was over at the Blowout house smoking up the place with Hovas, I probably would have started texting them to start the “get your butt out of bed phone calls” to Carrie earlier… but instead, they didn’t start until nearly 11 and were not successful until at least noon.


Once we finally were able to get Carrie up and at them, we all headed to lunch.  We ate at Barton Springs Grill, which is owned by a bunch of Austinites.  Seemed sorta weird seeing as we were in HOUSTON, but the food was great and the company was even better.  I had butternut squash soup & a caprese salad.  I was trying to stay halfway good so I didn’t gain all 24 pounds back in one weekend.


About the time we finished lunch, my best friend Becky, showed up and spent the rest of the blowout weekend with me.  It was fun getting to go to blowout & see her too.  After lunch we went to Willowbrook Mall where we went shopping for bling for our outfits and Kami realized that she is a mall snob.  After a few trips to the mall in Frisco, I think I am a mall snob too.  The sad thing is that back in 1992 when Becky and I were in high school, we thought that was why we drove all the way to Willowbrook Mall… was because we were mall snobs.


After a quick ride in the limo, we ended up on the balcony at Cafe Adobe at Marq*E Houston where we would stay the rest of the night. 


The butterfly restaurant that Carrie so aptly picked in honor of our Hovas expert, TBG.  We had a 45 minute wait upstairs on the balcony where we had a couple solicit the entire group for a swinger to join them in a threesome.  The wait didn’t really seem like it was 45 minutes and before we knew it they had seated us downstairs at a long table where the rest of our group from Austin joined us for dinner.  Dinner was great.  I had seafood enchiladas and a fish taco (Kami & Tammy.. shut it!).  I also stole a bite of Becky’s fried & stuffed avocado… oh my gravy that was good.

Once Lucky, Nappy, TXMom, & A Taste That’s Bitter showed up that things really got interesting.  They showed up with phallic shaped chicklets & Girls Night Out Cards and of all things… a whoopy cushion that Lucky kept us entertained with all night long.


If we had only known Friday night that we were going to have a tattoo parlor right in front of the restaurant, we probably wouldn’t have gone out looking for one.  Well, maybe not.  Most of us took turns walking to the CrazyTattoo stand to get inked.  I got a tramp stamp and its already starting to come off damn it.  Too bad I’m too damn chicken to get the real thing.


After we finished dinner and figured out the check… gosh I will never understand why they just dont do separate checks its so much easier (and yes, I waited tables all the way thru college… it is easier), we headed across the walkway to the club called Drink! Houston where Kami pretended she was getting married to get us all in for free.


The first club was playing 80s and 90s retro music.  Is it just me or is it depressing to have 80s and 90s considered “retro”?  I’m not old enough for the music I grew up on to have that moniker. I liked this part of the club but it didn’t seem like much was happening in there… so we moved on to another section that was playing dance music.  A couple of minutes in there I felt like I was at a Carole King concert…”I feel the earth, move, under my feet.”  I was glad when we got up to move one more time.  This time we ended up in the karaoke bar. 

Friends, Internets, let me fill you in on a little secret.  Tammy, you know that bitch that likes to Rant N Rave?  That girl has got a set of pipes on her and can belt out Reba and the Dixie Chicks like no one’s business.

After a few more groups of bloggers got up on stage… SuZan decided that she was ready to grab the limo and head back to the house.  Let me tell you about the hostess with the mostess.  She was running on less than 10 hours of sleep and was still out with us at midnight Saturday night.  Becky & I have decided that we are indeed getting old, so we hopped in the limo with SuZan and went back to the Blowout house where we changed into our PJs, had coffee, watched some FoodNetwork, set up the air mattresses and basically prepared ourselves for the onslaught of drunkeness that would no doubt be arriving home within the next hour or so.

One thing about going to Blog Blowout with a bunch of moms, they sure as heck don’t sleep in.  They were up and at em at 8something in the morning.  TBG made Hovas for breakfast with Sheri’s wonderful Guacamole and coffee in our blog blowout mugs.  Thanks again for the mugs!


After breakfast, we all started packing up our stuff…. yes it looked like we had moved in to stay.  I’m sure there were at least 1 or 2 articles left behind cause there was stuff everywhere.  Then we went over to Carrie’s place and got Jade’s stuff all ready to go home with her new mama.  Becky left to go home & I packed up and headed out on a mission to go find my mom hot dogs from James Coney Island.


Yes, my mom is a nut.  After living in Houston for 30 years…all the wonderful restaurants… what does she miss?  Hot Dogs.  Blech!  She finally decided she didn’t need hot dogs this trip, although the truth came out later which was that she was going to Houston tomorrow for a business trip and could get her own.

I drove up to Waco and visited with Zack & Zane for about an hour and then drove over to my grandparents’ house to see them for a little while.  I ended up taking a much needed nap on their couch before going to eat at Fuddruckers with my parents and driving back to Big D.

Last night after work I drove over to the hospital and spent the evening with Connor and his parents.  We had a great little visit and he is just the sweetest happiest little boy.  He quickly fell asleep in my arms for a little nap not long after I got there.  Before I left he was wide awake, sitting up in his bubble chair thingy and just playing like crazy.  Barbara took a picture of the two of us as I was leaving… I hope she will send it to me soon so I can post it.

I am still going to Waco this weekend for the WalkAmerica for the March of Dimes.  We are hoping that the guest of honor will be able to join us on Saturday but if not, the rest of his team will still be out there walking for him.  I want to thank those of you who donated to Connor’s team (SoozieQ, Lori, TysGirl).  The website is still there for anyone who might want to join the group.

Ok… 4 hours after I started writing this post, I finally finished it.  Yes, it took me four hours because I lost electricity in my apartment for about 10 minutes and lost a large chunk of what I was working on.  Damn it.  It’s been a stormy night in Big D.

End Of A Record


Well, if we can write this down on the history books, I made it from March 14th  – April 19th before I was officially LATE to work.  This has got to be a milestone for me.  My previous record was probably 3 days.

Why was I late this morning?  Damn freaking FLAT TIRE!  Yes, I can change my own flat tires.  What I haven’t mastered is the art of changing my tire without having to go back inside and changing clothes when I’m done.

Damn it.

FUG Thursday: That Shower Fresh Feeling

Posted in FUG by TheStolenOlive on April, 12 at 12:01 amComments (4)


Welcome to Fug Thursday, brought to you by the wildlife coalition that is the DallasKs, where we show you the fashion nos, to keep you in the fashion know.  This week, I am showing you some major FUG:


I took this little goody one day at Kinkos while running an errand for work.  Now, let me come right out and tell the truth here.  I have a terrycloth tubetop dress just like that, but it is what I wear when I get out of the SHOWER!  I do not wear it in public.  I will not wear it to the curb to take out the trash.  I would not even wear it into the living room if my curtains were open.  And I certainly sure as hell would not put on flip flops and grab my purse and go to FedEx Kinko’s with it on.

Wild Card Wednesday: Walk America 2007 – Rocky’s Angels


A few weeks ago, TKW, started a new game called Wild Card Wednesday where we could post about anything we wanted to.  I actually posted this last night, but was apparently too out of it to realize that not only would you all wake up on “Wednesday” to read it, but that I could also qualify for the bonus points for having a “W” involved.  And, shamelessly, I figured if I told TKW I played… little Connor might get a few more thoughts and prayers headed his way.


Some of you may remember a couple of posts from last May and June, about a sweet little baby boy named Connor.  I met his mom while working at CTC in Waco back in 2002 and we became fast friends.  I was a bridesmaid in her wedding in 2005 and then little baby Connor was born 13 weeks early on April 18, 2006.

I know I’m late doing this… heck, when am I not late doing anything?  But today, I signed up to be part of Rocky’s Angel’s, a Walk America 2007 team for the March of Dimes.  Here is the story that was in an their local magazine.

The birth of a couple’s first child is supposed to be a joyous, moving, happy event one of many with the child, like the first day of school, graduation, wedding day, and birth of their first child.  When Barbara and Richard Chaney had their first child, the experience was quite different.  Born April 18, 2006, Connor Allen Chaney weighed 2 pounds, 11 ounces, and was given a 50-percent chance of survival.

In Texas during an average week, 7,259 babies are born, 1,003 being born prematurely. Of those babies, 269 are born with a major structural birth defect, and 45 of those die before reaching their first birthday.  Long recognized as the organization that wiped out the dreaded disease polio, the March of Dimes has taken up a different cause to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality. 

“The March of Dimes is very proud of the fact that 80 percent of the funds we raise goes to research, and 20 percent to operations,” said Iris Clark, regional director. “The Chaneys were selected as our ambassador family from Navarro County, and our WalkAmerica to benefit March of Dimes fund-raising campaign which kicks off Feb. 22.”

Premature birth is a national health crisis, and many don’t realize what a financial drain it is overall to employers, families and health insurance companies. The rate of premature births has gone up 31 percent since 1981.  March of Dimes seeks to make the population aware that premature births jeopardize the lives and health of nearly a half-million babies each year, is the number one killer of newborns, and can lead to lifelong disabilities. 

The Chaneys’ saga with little Connor began in Barbara’s 25th week of pregnancy.  Barbara confessed to having a “beautiful” pregnancy, and delighted in taking the best possible care of herself.  She ate properly, did aerobics designed for pregnant women, and carefully avoided over-the-counter items or otherwise that could possibly harm her baby.

“At 25 weeks, I started losing amniotic fluid, and my doctor put me on bed rest at Hillcrest Hospital in Waco,” Chaney said. “For two weeks, they gave me antibiotics, and still the amniotic fluid became infected.”  On April 18, Barbara began running a fever, and went into labor. By 10 a.m., her temperature was 102 degrees, her blood pressure was dropping, and the baby’s heart rate was rising. An emergency cesarean was performed, and Connor Allen Chaney was born at 2:24 p.m.

“Dr. Darrell Wheeler told me he was very sick, and had a 50-percent chance of survival,” she said. “Connor had contracted Strep B from me while in utero. After his birth, he was given three antibiotics, 100 percent oxygen on a ventilator, and daily lung treatments.”  The neonatal intensive care unit at Hillcrest was home to Connor and his family for quite a few months. Clark said many people just assume all hospitals have NICUs, but they don’t.

In Connor’s first three weeks of life, he received three blood transfusions, two from his father. He had daily spinal taps to get fluid off of the brain. Connor had a head ultrasound, and it was discovered he had a Grade 4 bleed on the left side of his brain, and a Grade 3 bleed on the right side.  Intraventricular hemorrhage is common in premature infants, but Grades 3 and 4 could result in long-term brain injury. 

“As far as brain bleeds, the Grade 4 is the worst,” Barbara said, having learned a lot in the few short months since her son’s birth. “Connor has brain damage from the loss of tissue during the Grade 4 bleed.”  Dr. Wheeler told Barbara it was her job to hope for the best, but tried to prepare her for Connor to possibly have cerebral palsy, or mental retardation. 

The doctors carefully observed Connor’s head growth, and when it went “off the charts” May 22, he was transferred to Cook Children’s Hospital in Fort Worth. Connor underwent a very delicate brain surgery and a temporary shunt was put in his head.  “When the doctors realized his ventricles weren’t communicating with each other, they did a fenestration,” Barbara said. “They then put in a permanent shunt. Connor spent from April 18 to May 22 at Hillcrest, then from May 22 to June 30 at Cook.”

The little boy is at home now, but still under the care of five specialists and a pediatrician.  Chaney said his medical bills have now reached the $1 million mark at this point, and that his spot in the NICU ran about $20,000 per day. The criteria Connor had to meet to come home was weighing 5 pounds, be able to eat, pass his car seat test, and have no apnea and bradycardia spells (cessation of breathing while sleeping).

In addition to the problems already mentioned, Connor also had a Grade 3 retinopathy (a problem with blood vessel growth to the retina, common in premature infants) which has corrected itself now; his blood problems have subsided; he had a heart murmur which was corrected through medication, sparing him surgery; spent two weeks on a ventilator but began breathing “room air” after that; had two abdominal hernias which were corrected surgically; and was fed through a tube until he finally had a bottle about 40 days of age.

“He also contracted parainfluenza and pneumonia, and had respiratory failure,” Barbara said. “They had to resuscitate him while I was in there. It was horrible, but they saved him. He had to recover from the parainfluenza and pneumonia before getting the permanent shunt.”  Connor also had a seizure during the parainfluenza, but has been seizure free since.

He takes daily antibiotics to prevent him from getting a urinary tract infection while waiting for him to reach the age of one to retest to see if he still has urinary reflux. Both his parents took a CPR class, which Barbara had to use on baby Connor once.  “For 74 days, it was a rollercoaster,” she said. “You’d have a good day, then dread the next day because it would be bad. We camped out in an RV in the parking lot at Hillcrest, where we survived a tornado! They had moved all the babies, and we were resting in the RV when they tried to contact us.”

Barbara, who is originally from Odessa, was amazed at the way Corsicana came together and supported their family through prayer, food, gifts and a fund-raiser. Richard was able to take off work to be with Barbara and Connor during his main surgeries, for which they are very grateful.  “Connor receives a $1,200 RSV shot each month now, and has a neurosurgeon, a neurologist, an opthamologist, urologist and gastroenterologist in addition to his pediatrician,” she said. “Also, Early Childhood Intervention is monitoring his early development and skills, and will until he’s 3 years old.”

The family has enjoyed support from Richard’s parents, Richard and Karen Tate, as well as their church family at Northside Baptist Church and Pastor Rick Lamb.

“Connor is a miracle,” Barbara said, humbly.

Since that article was printed in February, Connor has had two more brain surgeries.  This email was received on March 2nd:

We started out at Hillcrest Hospital in Waco thinking that Connor had a stomach virus and just needed hydration on Wednesday, Richard’s birthday.  After hydrating his little body he still wasn’t perking up and the ER doctor believed that there might be complications with the shunt.  Care flight came and got Connor and I and we flew to Cook Children’s Hospital.  Arriving there in 27 minutes!  What a rush! By Thursday morning, March 1, a cat scan showed that Connor’s head was retaining fluid and that the shunt was malfunctioning.  Within one hour of the cat scan results Connor underwent his fourth brain surgery!  The neurosurgeon had to replace the top catheter to his shunt and relocate the shunt.  He told us after surgery that it was a good thing that we got him up there when we did that his head has a lot of pressure and was really tight.  This explains why Connor was so lifeless and lethargic. The doctor said that the reason this happened was Connor’s brain grew really good and fast and grew over the first shunt’s catheter.  We watched him and by Friday morning we saw a completely different baby!  We got to come home Friday afternoon.  Connor is in A LOT of pain from the surgery and we can only give him Motrin and Tylenol because anything stronger would not allow a good neurological assessment to be given.  Please continue to pray for our little guy!  We are so proud of him and praise the Lord for continuing to bless us with him!

And then on March 10th:

As if last week wasn’t enough!  The brain surgery to replace the catheter on the shunt.  Our little man had a great Monday and Tuesday and then Wednesday night all went south AGAIN!  Thursday morning exactly one week from the first surgery Connor had to have another shunt revision.  Last weeks revision didn’t work.  We got home last night and he is doing really good.  Please pray that he will stay healthy.  The risk of infection is alot higher now that they have had to go back into the head twice in one week!  I love you all and appreciate all the prayers!  Richard and I are very wore out from all the stress!  We need lots of prayer too!

I talked to Barbara on Saturday.  Connor is up to 17 pounds and will be a year old a week from tomorrow.  He cut his first two teeth last week and she said that was probably one of the hardest things that they had been thru because no matter what she tried, she could not console him. 

About a month after Connor was born, Stephanie, the younger sister of my high school friend Heather, also gave birth to a premature baby named Jadyn.  The link goes to a google video that tells Jadyn’s story as only 1 of 5 babies in the US to survive a molar pregnancy.

So, in honor of Connor and his family… I am walking the 3K Walk America 2007 the morning of April 28th to raise money to help family’s like Connor’s who must spend time in neonatal intensive care units and to help fund research for all premature babies.

Because I only signed up 18 days before the walk, I only pledged to raise $50… but if you can and would like to help me hit or surpass that amount or help the team as a whole get closer to their goal, please go here and donate.  And please continue to keep baby Connor… and baby Jadyn… in your thoughts and prayers as they come up on their first birthdays (April 18th and May 23rd).

I Know, I’m A Loser

Posted in Family, Weigh In Wednesday by TheStolenOlive on April, 9 at 10:28 pmComments (9)


I’ve been getting some pretty nasty comments lately.  Like LadyFonseca saying she started blogging and I stopped, or Kami saying I forgot how to blog.  But seriously, I am still here.  With the schedule I have been keeping, I think about things I want to write about, but the next time I remember them I’m either at work and can’t blog or its nearly midnight and I should have been in bed hours ago.

That’s one thing about my new job, at the HellHole, I didn’t have to be there till 930 which meant I could sleep until 8am… now I actually have to be there at 8am.  WTF!  Me no like mornings, and I really do NOT like I75 Southbound traffic with the rest of the idiots who have to be at work at 8am.

So, it’s Monday night, April 9th.  So, Not only am I a bad bad blogger… I’m also a loser.  The past two weeks I have been going to Weight Watchers meetings in TheArmPitOfHell.  Weekend before last I drove home because it was my Nana’s 88th birthday on Sunday, April Fools Day.  That Saturday at my WW meeting I got this:


My 4th star… that’s right baby, 20 pounds gone.  Then we went shopping for a few birthday gifts and then we had a party for the birthday girl on Sunday.


Then last weekend I made another round trip to the TheArmPitOfHell for Easter.  I went to WW meeting on Saturday, before the freakish snow storm and this time, instead of a star… I came home with this:


This is my 10% goal keychain for losing 10% of my starting weight.  From January 11th to April 7th I lost 23.2 pounds which was actually a little bit over my 10%.  I am still 5.4 pounds away from the personal goal I wanted to hit, which was to be under 200 by Blowout… but I don’t think I can drop that much weight in 12 days… but now I’m just going to say by May 1st… which is totally possible.

Anyway… I promise to try to be a better blogger but I don’t promise not to be a loser.

If Only I Had Shaved My Legs

Posted in Weigh In Wednesday by TheStolenOlive on March, 24 at 10:22 pmComments (10)


I actually got my 3rd star last week, after losing 2.6 pounds, but I was so exhausted from my first week of work and getting ready for my full weekend that I didn’t post anything.

This morning I went to weigh in and I just about fell over when the lady told me that I had lost 4 pounds this past week.  FOUR pounds.  That puts me at a total of 19.8 pounds.

Damn it!  If only I had shaved my legs, I might have gotten my 4th star for losing 20 pounds.

Not Sufficient Funds

Posted in SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on March, 24 at 5:53 pmComments (4)


Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman.  The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the New York Times.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, — when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

# 1. To make an appointment to see me
# 2. To query a missing payment
# 3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there
# 4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping
# 5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature
# 6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home
# 7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. 

Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

# 8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
# 9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

# 10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

Welcome To BlogLand

Posted in WhenBlogsCollide by TheStolenOlive on March, 23 at 6:59 pmComments (1)


Well, it only took damn near two years… but my best friend finally started a blog.  I think since she will be joining us in Houston at Blog Blowout 3 next month she finally decided it was time to get with the program.

Go by and tell her hi.

Fonseca… not the wine or the cigar… the Lady

I Hope This Is Just Stress Or The Weather

Posted in My Body Is Falling Apart, Work by TheStolenOlive on March, 23 at 6:47 pmComments (1)


I know I haven’t been around much.  I haven’t posted anything in a week and I haven’t been around commenting in even longer.  My life is crazy right now but its a good kind of crazy.

So far I LOVE my new job.  I’m still the new kid and trying to learn about the company and everything, but the people are really nice and fun and there is no shortage of work.  Another thing that I love is that it is not the same boring crap all day every day.  I have had something new to do every single day.

The only thing that is worrying me is that I have had a headache every single day this week.  I hope its not something in the building that I’m allergic to… so, we are just going to pray that it’s either stress, my severe lack of sleep or the weather.  Thanks.

America, You Are Pissing Me OFF!

Posted in SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on March, 14 at 7:43 pmComments (4)


America, You Are Pissing Me OFF!

How the HELL does this tone deaf teenager


keep making it to the next week?  I am so sick of seeing him on every week.  So many good singers have left while this dweeb keeps making me MUTE the TV every week.  I want Sabrina back.  I want Sunshine back.  I want Brandon back.


You Know What’s Fun?


You know what is Fun?  Do ya?  Huh? Huh?  Realizing the clothes that you have been wearing to work every day for the past 6 or so months are too big.  Having to wear belts and rolling the waists of your slacks to keep them up.

So, since I got a new job I decided to go thru my closet and see if I could fit into any of my old clothes.  Oh my goodness.  2 pant suits & 3 skirts now fit.  One of the skirts is part of a two-piece dress that I can’t wear because I have yet to lose one single ounce in my chest, damn it, but I’m still counting the fact that the skirt fits.

It’s fun to go shopping in your own closet with clothes that haven’t fit in two years.

Guess What I Got Today

Posted in Work by TheStolenOlive on March, 13 at 4:47 pmComments (6)


Yep, I got the job at the interview I posted about yesterday.  I left the interview about 4:20 and at 4:40 I got a call from the temp agency asking if I could start tomorrow at 9am.

It’s going to be a temp-to-hire position, but I am going to make them love me.  Its an office manager/IT techy help desk/bookkeeper/executive assistant position for a medical consulting company and I’m really excited.  I’m also really excited about the nearly $7000 raise.

I will have three days to train with the girl who is currently in the position and then I will be on my own come next week.  She says she stays busy from the minute she walks in the door till the minute she leaves.  I’m excited because I don’t know how many times I blogged or IM’d that I was bored out of my mind at the HellHole.

And, damn it… if it wasn’t storming so bad I was going to take myself out to dinner.  Maybe it will calm down in a little while.  I guess I shouldn’t complain, we need the rain so bad.

Broken Blood Vessels

Posted in My Body Is Falling Apart, Work by TheStolenOlive on March, 12 at 5:54 pmComments (8)


When I went to the neurologist on Wednesday they changed the dosage of one medicine (100mg extra Zonegran per day) and completely switched another (60mg Cymbalta to 100mg Zoloft).  Because I had fever at my appointment on Wednesday, I waited until Thursday night to change my meds.  I even mentioned in my last post about eating late Thursday night so that my medicines wouldn’t make me sick.

I took the new medicine & the new dosage for the first time Thursday night and woke up violently ill Friday morning about 4am.  I was nauseous, sweating & my left arm and my face hurt like hell.  I really thought I was having a stroke.  There really is nothing like Tuna Noodle frozen dinners the 2nd time around.  As I sprawled out on the tile floor in the bathroom I wondered how bad the kitchen looked if I really died right there.

I put a wet cold beach towel on top of me, a wet cold wash cloth on my forehead and laid down on the couch and woke up a few hours later.  I still felt bad but no where like I had.  My face was covered with broken blood vessel splotches from getting sick.  No, I didn’t take a picture, but it was bad.  All the way around my eyes, my nose, my forehead & neck were solid bright dark red splotches.

I pretty much stayed on the couch all weekend long. I did open the blinds so that I could see the sun and the pool and how beautiful the weather was. I only moved to check my email, take a bath or go to the restroom and to get food. (Oh, and I did put on my most FUG’able painted blue jeans & matching top & a scrunchie and drive 37.8 miles roundtrip Friday afternoon to my old work to pick up my last damn paycheck that they lied to me and said would be direct deposited but wasn’t).

I finally feel normal today. I adjusted the dosage of the new medication to 50mg and all is well.

Day 21 at home. Going stir crazy. Placement agency is sending me on an interview tomorrow at 230 for a temp-to-hire Executive Admin position.  They wanted someone with advanced Excel skills & an accounting background, so hopefully they will like me enough to hire me.  From the job description, it sounds as if this job is going to require me to dress up a lot more than I have ever had for work.  I went from being a teacher (ie, painted and/or pathwork denim) to business casual.  If I get this job I would really love it if my bitches would go shopping with me one weekend soon and help me spruce up my wardrobe!  Will ya?

I am also really looking forward to WI on Thursday as my home scale is already showing a 4 pound loss since last week. Now, if I don’t mess it up I might get back on track for making my goal before Blowout!

Need A Swift Kick

Posted in Weigh In Wednesday by TheStolenOlive on March, 9 at 12:52 amComments (6)


These past two weeks at home without a job have severely slowed down my progress on Weight Watchers.  Last week I was up 0.2 pounds and this week I was down 0.4 pounds.  At least I lost what I had gained the week before and a little more.

Yesterday at the neurologist they mentioned that my temperature was a little up.  99.3.  That may not sound like much but considering my “normal” body temp is around 97.5.  Maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling so crappy lately.  Just run down and not wanting to do anything but sleep.  I really have a bad schedule of running my errands, coming home, sitting on the couch & passing out, waking up late, eating dinner at 9pm or later, and staying up till 2 or 3 am.  Needless to say I don’t eat breakfast on that schedule either because most of the time I sleep till 11 and then it’s time for lunch.

Actually… it is now 12:49 am and I am just now eating yesterday’s lunch.  Oops.  I ate cereal this morning and then I went back to my placement agency today to do some more evaluations about getting a temp job until I found something else.  Just something to make me get out of bed in the mornings and have some income coming in.  When I got back I didn’t want to eat because I was going to Weigh In at 630.  Next thing I know its after midnight and I’ve been being a computer geek and chatting and playing onlin bingo (does that say unemployed or what?).

So, I’m sitting here with a glass of milk, my medicines & a Smart Ones frozen dinner.  I know I shouldn’t eat this late but I dont want to chance what my medicines will do with essentially no food in my system at all.

Needless to say, I need a swift kick in the ass to get my life back on track.



  1. Open a new file in your PC. 
  2. Name it “Housework.” 
  3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN  
  4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN  
  5. Your PC will ask you, “Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?”  
  6. Answer calmly, “Yes,” and press the mouse button firmly…  
  7. Feel better?

I’ve been home for two weeks and two days now and I have lost my mind.  I do laundry, but I can’t make myself hang the crap up.  I sleep at the weirdest times of the day.  And all I wanna do is eat fattening food.  Housework isn’t getting done.  However, I am looking for WORK and catching up on about six old episodes of HOUSE.

I went to see my neurologist today.  They still want to do a spinal tap and another sleep study at some point, but since I’m running on Cobra and have not met my yearly deductible, both of those items are going to have to wait until I am gainfully employed.  She changed my happy meds to sertraline which is the generic for Zoloft.  I am going to go pick this up at the pharmacy and try it tomorrow.  I have basically been without since September when they changed me to Cymbalta and it took it only sporadically because it made me feel dizzy, nauseous and all around yucky.

After my appointment at the headdoc, I went and visited with a counselor at UT-Dallas regarding the Masters program I want to start in the fall.  I thought I wanted an MBA but upon further research I am leaning towards the Master of Science in Accounting and Information Management.  Does that make me a nerd or a geek or both?  I need to buy a study guide for the GRE or the GMAT and take it.  I have already called to get copies of my transcripts sent to me and I have to get three people to write me letters of recommendation.  My deadline to have everything submitted in order to start the Fall semester is July 1st.

Then I went and grabbed some lunch at Luby’s.  I love Luby’s.  Although, it is certainly annoying when three of the servers are standing in a corner near your table arguing over who’s tables are who’s and who is cleaning them up.  Fun lunch conversation don’t you think?

As I was leaving Luby’s I noticed a Spartan Staffing location in the same parking lot and went over there and registered with them.  They had two good sounding positions and I am hoping that this placement agency actually does something.  The other two have told me about positions, said they were immediate, said they would get back to me, and even after calling and emailing to follow up every other day, I still haven’t heard anything. 

Well, now I’m exhausted and going to go take a nap… something about hearing kids playing baksetball on the courts not far from my window at 230 this morning made me really tired.  Hmmm, I wonder why.

Two View Points To Every Story


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asks, “Do you know her?”

Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.” 

My My!” says my wife, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

Happy Birthday

Posted in Nostalgia, WhenBlogsCollide by TheStolenOlive on March, 4 at 12:01 amComments (2)


Here is a big Happy Birthday wish to the cutest of the blogging bitches/bastards… NATE! 

Hope you have a great day!

Cool Fronts and Cool Computers


I’m back.  Three straight days of migraines and 43 hours and 45 minutes of being cut off from the world as I know it.  This weather is driving me nuts & is hurting my brain.  It’s beautiful outside, but the allergies and constant change in barometric pressure is causing massive headaches and forced 4 hour afternoon naps.

About 1157pm Thursday night, my DSL went down.  No biggy, rebooted the modem & computer.  I have to say, this is only the 2nd time I have had to reboot my DSL modem since I moved here August 12th.  But, when my computer went to reboot it laughed at me and said no and turned itself off.  Before it flashed off it said… CPU Fan Error.  I had mentioned that my computer was running hot for a week or so and I had ordered two new fans but I hadn’t installed them yet.  But they weren’t CPU fans.

So, I opened the case up, took the CPU Fan off, cleaned all the dust off of it… (didn’t have that cold air spray so I used the brush end of my eyebrow brush/comb thingy & my hairdryer on cold)… haha… I’m so ghetto… Shut IT!

I put the fan back in and tried to turn on my computer… it would turn on for about 10 seconds and then turn itself off.  After calling com693 a few times… we decided to just let it rest & cool the rest of the night.  Well, of course, I couldn’t sleep… so I tried again at 330, 645 and 915… before calling the guy who built it.  He was like well, its probably your motherboard.  Hmm, that’s really what you want to hear when you are unemployed.

He told me if I got the computer really cold it might stay on long enough for me to disable something in the BIOS so it wouldn’t shut off because of the temperature.  Well, I called Kami to see if she had a box fan, but she didn’t think she did.  So… my ghetto innovative self came up with the solution in the picture below.  Yep, that’s my kitchen chair & two upside down barstools stacked under my ceiling fan with the computer on top.  Shut IT!

About 550pm I went to the apartment office to use their computers (thanks MommyMe for that suggestion, I forgot they had computers in there).  I mentioned in passing to the office manager that my computer decided to die.  In her office was a fellow resident who was paying his rent on his new apartment.  His wife and him were moving from a one bedroom to a three bedroom because they were starting their own computer business.

I took my computer over to them about 8pm last night.  I got it back about 745 this evening.  He fixed the CPU fan that had two broken connectors that made it not want to talk to the motherboard.  So, now I’m back in the land of the living.  For the past two days I have watched a shitload of TV.  I watched one of the saddest movies ever, and I don’t know why I hadn’t seen it since it was made in 2001.  If you need a good cry, you need to rent Sweet November.

I’ve had to take a nap about 2pm every day for three days straight now.  Damn migraines.  It’s 11pm and I’m not even tired.  And I’ve eaten all my points today so I guess I’ll try to watch a movie without popcorn, that is after I post this and my really late SPF.

If any of you Dallas bitches need computer help, I’ve kept this guy’s number.  It’s nice to have someone who can fix stuff close.

P.S.  WW friends… if you miss your Chocolate Milk… you need to try YUM fat free Chocolate Milk.  It’s still 4 points for 8oz but Oh My Gravy it tastes like melted Blue Bell.

SPF: Leftovers

Posted in SPF by TheStolenOlive on March, 3 at 9:37 pmComments (0)


Well, I’m playing SPF this week, but believe it or not… I’m late.  Yep, really late.  It’s nearly Sunday.  Anyway, this week Kristine wanted to see a picture of our leftovers.


These two boxes and two bags are full of all of my leftover stuff from my desk at my hellJob that my friend and ex-co-worker Crys brought me on Thursday.

I’m sure you all already played.  I plan on trying to get caught up on all the blogs tomorrow.


Bitches, I need your help, ASAP!

About 12:45 tonight, my computer died. My friend, com693, is posting this for me. I have possible interviews and resume responses on my Gmail account. I need people to check this account for me all day tomorrow (Friday) in case I get an interview.

Please call me tomorrow, or if you don’t have my phone number, call Kami and get it, if you can do this for me.

FUG: Oh My Gravy

Posted in FUG by TheStolenOlive on March, 2 at 12:03 amComments (1)


Welcome to Fug Thursday, brought to you by the recently divorced-from-blogger, Mrs. Dallas K. 

So, Tuesday I had an interview & a second interview before I decided I wasn’t interested that much.  In between the two interviews, I had about a 4 hour wait in Lewisville (read: way too freaking far to drive home & drive back).  So, I went to Saturn and had the oil changed in my car, ate the Confetti Chicken on the Weight Watchers menu at AppleBee’s and then hung out at Target for about 2 1/2 hours.

First I went to Sixbucks and got a tall, non-fat, no-whip, sugar-free cinnamon dolce latte.  I sat there acting like a dork reading all the little brochures and fliers they had laying around.  Then I went walking the aisles at Target to see if there was anything this broke unemployed dork couldn’t live without.  Luckily, the answer was NO.  But, while I was walking around Target, this sign caught my eye.


Um, NO!  Please NO! Not tube tops.

So I looked a little further down.


NO, Friends, I can’t like this.  When they were popular in the 80s I didn’t like them because I didn’t have anything to keep them up.  We all know that has changed. 

Now I just plain don’t like them.  I don’t care what color they come in.


Granted, I do have a few old tube tops that I bought in college.  Do you know when I wear those?  When I’m coloring my hair & when my shoulders are too sunburned to wear pajamas.  That is it.  And no I will not be spending $8.99 to buy a new one.

Did you play?  Let me know & Kami know too.

Knowledge Versus Wisdom

Posted in Weigh In Wednesday by TheStolenOlive on March, 1 at 6:34 pmComments (1)


“Knowledge is knowing that a Tomato is a Fruit.  Wisdom is not putting them in a Fruit Salad.”

It’s Thursday so that means I had Weigh In today.  I drove down to my old meeting site near my old job and met Crys at Subway before the meeting.  She had weighed in early and went to grab a sandwich before heading back to work, as she didn’t have time to stay for the entire meeting.  That goober is getting on a plane tomorrow and flying to California for a weekend jetaway.   Hope you have a blast. 

I got a turkey sandwich at Subway and we sat and talked for a few minutes.  Then we unloaded her car with the 2 bags and 2 boxes full of CRAP I had at my desk at the HellJob.  Thanks for bringing it to me because if I had to see a few of those people one more time, I might have slapped them silly.

Anyway, then I went over to the meeting site and weighed in.  I had a feeling this was not going to be a pretty WI.  From the time I left my WI meeting last Thursday night until Tuesday morning… I didn’t even leave the freaking house.  I didn’t even have my daily short round trip walk to my car in the parking lot.  My sleep patterns have become all out of wack and I’ve been sleeping thru breakfast and then trying to eat up the rest of my points with lunch, dinner & snacks.  I had 13 points left over last night.

Today in the meeting they passed out a 3 page packet with about 11 different soup recipes all of them 5 points or under.  I am going to type them out and send them, although I have figured out that soups are usually not a good option for me.  I eat a big bowl of low point soup and then I have too many points to make up the rest of the day.  Somehow, I don’t think when my leader said… “you have to eat all of your points” that they meant eat an entire bag of Marshmallows to do it.

So, the combination of not moving at all, not eating enough & having just ate lunch not 5 minutes before jumping on the scale I was up 0.2 pounds.  Then I came home, unloaded my work crap from my car and dumped it in the floor in the living room.  Found a Relpax & a migraine patch & a diet sunkist soda and then took a two hour nap.  Damn migraines.

Back in December I had gone to go visit LA Fitness and they gave me a free week.  Today the GM called and asked if I was ever coming back.  He has called a few times before offering me a free month at their facility, my work schedule was always my excuse.  So, tomorrow, I’m going to go swim at the gym and see if I can put a kick start back on my diet.

This no-loss week basically insured that I wont be at my goal before Blowout, but maybe by Memorial Day… so that is my new goal to be in Onederland by the end of May.  Ok, going to go find something good to cook for dinner.  And American Idol comes on in 27 minutes.  Who is getting the boot this week?

The Cop With The Medical Degree


I knew one of you smart aleics would ask for this.. I just didn’t know how long it would take. So, SoozieQ asked and I will oblige.

During the fall semester of 2000, I was teaching high school, working for the athletic department taking up tickets at our on campus sporting events, I was the faculty sponsor for the sophomore class and the Key Club. I also worked at Bath & Body Works two nights a week. All of this was in the thriving suburb of Houston known as Sugar Land. Sugar Land was also 56 miles away from my house. Yes, I commuted 56 miles, one way, every day, for over two years.

At this time I was also having some weird health issues. Health issues that I now know were signs of my Chiari diagnosis that would come nearly 5 years later. One of those health issues was Low blood sugar. When having a low blood sugar attack, I will get hot, sweaty, nauseated and a migraine. Only twice I have passed out from having a low blood sugar attack. You do not have to be a doctor to know that anyone can have a low blood sugar attack, and that a low blood sugar attack does not necessarily mean you have diabetes.

On December 5, 2001, I had taught school all day long. I had a sophomore class officer’s meeting during my lunch break. My conference period was taken up covering another class as the school was unable to find enough substitutes that day. After school, I walked down to the gymnasium where I sat at the door and took up tickets for a boys basketball game. I left the game after the 3rd period to go to work at Bath & Body Works. I had been scheduled from 8pm – 10pm that evening to work what was called an “Almanac,” which is basically a floor set.

I had inhaled some leftovers during our lunch meeting and when I left Bath & Body Works that night I was starving. I drove thru Taco Bell and ordered two tacos and a large Dr. Pepper. I realized after driving off that the dork in the drive thru did not give me a straw, so I took the lid off of my 40oz Dr Pepper sitting in the cup holder of the console of my car. I drove about two miles before pulling to a full and complete stop at the light at the intersection of Hwy 6 and Interstate 59 in Sugar Land.
The next thing I remember is a crash. Apparently I passed out sitting there at the red light. My foot came off of the brake and I eased out into the middle of the intersection, slightly bashing in the side of a car turning in front of me. Below is a picture of the visible outside damage to my car.


That doesn’t look too bad, right? In all honesty, it wasn’t. The external damage to my car was a mere fraction of the total damage. You see, you have to remember something. I took the LID off of a 40 oz Dr Pepper not two miles before the wreck. The entire contents of that 40 oz cup landed all over my dashboard. It ruined my CD player, the radio, the cruise control button on the steering wheel, the climate control buttons and knobs. My entire dashboard, steering wheel and everything electronic had to be replaced.

The Cop with the Medical Degree was really nice the night of the accident. He let me borrow his battery to his cell phone call my friend Shellie to come get me. He said everything is going to be ok. They call them accidents, not on-purposes, he told me.
Flash forward a few months. I received a notice in my mailbox that I had a certified letter at the post office. There was no zip code or information about the sender of the certified letter on the notice. Finding time to go to the post office to get it was not very high on my list of priorities. Keep in mind now that I was still working 56 miles away from home. I was leaving home between 615 and 645 am and getting home sometimes as late as 10 or 11pm. I cant remember if the post office was open on Saturdays but if it was, they were probably closed by noon and I did my best to sleep until at least noon to survive with the schedule I was keeping.

Apparently, the idiots at the post office sent the letter back before I could get there to pick it up. About a month later (I think this was late April) I received a regular letter in the mail from the Department of Transportation. This letter stated that since I *refused* to answer their certified letter, they were revoking my drivers license due to my uncontrolled diabetes. WTF?

I drove to work that day and spent my entire conference period on the phone trying to get someone to tell me what the hell was going on. First of all, I had to explain to them that I didn’t refuse to answer their certified letter, but that the idiots at the post office returned it before I was able to pick it up. I had no clue the letter was from them or what it was about. Secondly, I don’t have diabetes. I never have had diabetes and since there isn’t a cure for diabetes…. that means I still don’t.

Apparently the Cop with the Medical Degree wrote on the accident report, that I was never given a copy of, that I had fallen into a coma-like state due to uncontrolled diabetes and that I should not be allowed to drive. First of all dear copper, most people don’t come out of diabetic comas. And had I fallen into a diabetic coma, I certainly wouldn’t have been running around getting things done with my car the next day and returning to my very demanding job as a teacher two days later.

The lady I finally got on the phone after an hour conversation finally decided that she could fax me a copy of the certified letter and the form that they had asked me to fill out. I got it and it was a long form asking questions such as:

• When were you diagnosed with diabetes?
• How much insulin do you take?
• Who is your physician over your treatment plan for diabetes?
Um, so I quickly laughed and filled out the form and faxed it back to them.
• When were you diagnosed with diabetes?
• NEVER, I have never been diagnosed with diabetes because I do not have diabetes.
• How much insulin do you take?
• My pancreas makes plenty of insulin so I do not take any extra
• Who is your physician over your treatment plan for diabetes?
• The only physician I have is over my treatment plan for migraines.

Apparently, they thought I was being a smart ass and a week or so later I received a letter notifying me that they had denied my appeal and set me up for a court date to see a judge for refusing to cooperate with their investigation and appeal the revoked status of my drivers license.

So, I went to work the next day and again spent an entire conference period on the phone with these idiots. I asked why they denied it and their answer was because you did not answer the questions to our satisfaction. We need to know what is being done about your diabetic condition. I was furious and very sternly said. I DONT HAVE A DIABETIC CONDITION. Well, ma’am, the officer’s report from your car accident on the night of December 5, 2001 states that you had a diabetic episode. So, if that officer has a medical degree why is he working as a cop?

Again, you do not have to have diabetes to have a low blood sugar attack!

So, they sent me another form. I had to take a day off of work, find a doctor and have a 5 hour glucose test done to prove that I did not have diabetes. That day was May 16, 2001. I got up early and drove down to Sugar Land for my test. I was given that nasty orange liquid stuff to drink and they took blood from my arm once every hour for five hours. After it was over I was standing at the counter writing a check for my co-pay when I felt like I was going to pass out. I do not do well after having that much blood taken. The doctor helped me walk back to an examination room where I laid down on a table and took a nap for an hour or so.

Anyway, I passed that glucose test with flying colors. I do not have diabetes. He filled out the form, sealed it, signed it across the seal and sent it into TxDot overnight, certified, return receipt. By the time the idiots at TxDot finally got it thru their thick heads that I did not have diabetes, I had sold my house and moved to TheArmPitOfHell. There was no apology, no explanation, no reimbursement for my expenses for combatting the ignorance that infiltrates governmental red tape. The only thing the final correspondence of this situation said was… that my court date with the judge to appeal my revoked drivers license had been cancelled.

All because some idiot thought he had a medical degree.

*PS. The only other time I have passed out due to low blood sugar was in my sleep sometime during the Spring semester of 1998. I was living at an ex-boyfriend’s parent’s house close to where I was student teaching. He would always come in my room every morning to tell me goodbye and to have a good day.

When he came in that morning I was still asleep. Passed out cold. My eyes were rolled back into my head. He yelled at his mother to bring him some jelly & juice. If you did not know, if someone is having a low blood sugar attack, they do not have to swallow sugar, your lips will absorb it.

I have not had a low blood sugar attack since the night of the wreck.

A Meme A Day Keeps The Boredom Away

Posted in BlogThings and Memes by TheStolenOlive on February, 24 at 11:43 amComments (5)


I stole this from TBG who stole it from TXMom 

1. Are your parents married or divorced? Married, Since April 1971. 

2. Are you a vegetarian? I easily could be, but I would miss fish.  But I could never be a vegan.

3. Do you believe in Heaven? Absolutely, because that is home to so many loved ones that I WILL see again someday.

4. Have you ever come close to dying? Well, I was told that Dr. Ian Kavin saved my life when I was 6.  I don’t remember it but I was one sick little girl.

5. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? None

6. Favorite time of day? My hour long soak in the bubble bath every evening.

7. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? Of course that is the part that makes the best Broccoli Cheese Soup.

8. Do you wear makeup? Usually, but its not a requirement.

9. Ever have plastic surgery? Nope

10. If you did have plastic surgery, what you you do? See #9

11. What do you wear to bed? Depending on the weather or how tired I am, anything from nothing to pjs to the clothes I wore that day and passed out on the couch before I took them off.

12. Have you ever done anything illegal? Yes, but I am not proud of it.

13. Can you roll your tongue? No I wish I could

14. Do you tweeze your eyebrows? Yep, because I haven’t had the money or the time to go get them waxed.

15. What kind of sneakers? I’m a KEDS girl.  Shut it.

16. Do you believe in abortions? I agree with Texas Mom and TBG on this that this is an oddly worded question. No one believes in abortion.  You are either for or against the Government’s idea that it has the right to tell you not to do it.

17. What is your hair color? Auburn by birth, brunette by hormones, white stripe down the middle by heredity, all turned back to Auburn by the grace of a bottle.

18. Future child’s name? Absolutely no clue, because I’m not having any.

19. Do you snore? Very much so.

20. If you could go anywhere in the world where would it be? New Zealand, Austrailia or Ibiza

21. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Well, they have their own side of the bed.

22. If you won the lottery, what would you do first? Take care of all my and my family’s and my friend’s financial cares and then put it in the bank to grow.

23. Gold or silver? Platinum all the way

24. Hamburger or hot dog? Hamburgers, I’m allergic to hot dogs (too many nitrates)

25. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Chocolate

26. City, beach or country? Country, as long as I could drive to civilization within about 30 minutes.

27. What was the last thing you touched? My mouse.

28. Where did you eat last? Sitting on the couch catching up with TIVO.

29. When’s the last time you cried? Truthfully, its been a week or so.  I guess I’m due for a good one.

30. Do you read blogs? Constantly

31. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex? We do that everytime we put on a business suit.  I’ve worn business suits a lot this week… darn interviews

32. Ever been involved with the police? Not in the way you think. Long story about an officer who thought he had a medical degree.  Ask me sometime.

33. What’s your favorite shampoo, conditioner and soap? When I was in high school I used Lori Davis hair care products.  They rocked.  About the time I left for college, I could no longer afford them & they started selling it at Target.  I think they changed the formula when they started selling it in stores because it didn’t work as well, or could that have been just the crappy smelly yellow green Waco Water?  Maybe I ought to see if Target still has it and try it in nice clean Dallas ‘burbs water.

34. Do you talk in your sleep? I’ve been told I have had complete conversations in my sleep.

35. Ocean or pool? Depends on which part of the ocean you are talking about.  Galveston? hell no.  Siesta Key Florida or the Bahamas? Oh Yes!  So, since I don’t live in Florida or the Bahamas, I will stick to a pool.

36. Sauna or whirlpool? Whirlpool

37. Starbucks or Krispy Kreme? Have to be Starbucks!  I actually don’t like Krispy Kreme (don’t shoot me!) I’d rather have Shipley’s.

38. Window seat or aisle? Window, just because I want the option to shut the little blinds and I dont want to have to reach over and shut it while someone’s face is clued to the glass.

39. Ever met anyone famous? Marvin Zindler, Dr. Red Duke, Shrub & his daddy, Paul Prudhomme, and Clay Walker.  The first two are Houston celebrities.

40. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life? Not yet.  I’ve been on a train wreck for 32 1/2 years.  But I feel that Monday was when the train pulled up to the station and I got the hell off.

41. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Cut.

42. Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey? Oprah.

43. Basketball or Football? Football, but it has to be High School or College ball.  Professional players get to cocky.

44. How long do your showers last? I can’t like showers. I have a tendency to lose my balance and fall out of them.  I take bubble baths.

45. Automatic or do you drive a stick? Both my best friend and an ex-boyfriend tried to teach me how to drive a stick, but I’m just not coordinated enough.

46. Cake or ice cream? I’d rather have cookies, but if I have to choose from those two, I’d say Ice Cream.

47. Are you self-conscious? Too much so.

48. Have you ever drank so much you threw up? Nope.

49. Have you ever given money to a beggar? Yes

50. Have you been in love? Yes, three times.

51. Where do you wish you were? Doing something besides sitting at home all day.

52. Are you wearing socks? No. I hate socks.

53. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? I don’t think I have.  I’ve had ambulances come to me, but I never needed a ride.

54. Can you tango? I was told in 1993 that I have two left feet.  But I still love to two-step.

55. Last gift you received? Valentine’s cards and $.  My horrible job also gave me the gift of my life back.

56. Last sport you played? I played softball from 4th grade – 12th grade and a little in college.

57. Things you spend a lot of money on? Food, Gasoline & Geek Stuff

58. Where do you live? In a beautiful quiet apartment complex in the same ‘burb as Kami, MommyMe, and LegallyBlond.

59. Where were you born? Houston, Texas.

60. Last wedding attended? My cousin, OfficerB and her hubby’s wedding in July 2005.

62. Favorite position? I’m still trying to find my favorite job position… :-)

63. Most hated food(s)? Ham, Carrots and Eggs

64. Most hated soda pop? Coke, Diet Coke, anything Coke.

65. Can you sing? Nope.

66. Last person you instant messaged? TBG

67. Last place you went on holiday? I’m guessing this means “vacation”.. that would be Lake Tahoe, Nevada in July 2002.

68. Favorite regular drink? Diet Dr Pepper Berries & Cream, Diet Cream Soda & Diet Root Beer.

69. Current Song? Dixie Chicks’ Not Ready To Make Nice & Taking The Long Way, Cross Canadian Ragweed’s Alabama, and Carrie Underwood’s Jesus Take The Wheel.

70. Tag 3 friends. Whoever wants to do it just let me know and I will come and check it out.

SPF: My List

Posted in SPF by TheStolenOlive on February, 23 at 1:01 pmComments (3)


Kristine wants us to show our lists this week for Stuff Portrait Friday.  I have lists all over the place, but below is the one that I have been using the most this week.


Did ya play  Let me & Kristine know.

Further Proof That As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Schools

Posted in Cartoons, School, SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on February, 23 at 12:31 amComments (2)









The Stars Come Out At Night

Posted in SkewedReality, Vacation, Weigh In Wednesday, Work by TheStolenOlive on February, 22 at 10:28 pmComments (6)




I didn’t go to my normal Thursday noon Weight Watchers meeting this week. I had an interview at 3 and really didn’t feel like hanging out on that side of town for 2 hours before the interview.  I originally planned just to drop by and weigh in on my way home…. but, little did I know, that location was closed at 450pm.

So I drove on home and looked up where the closest meeting to my place was.  Can you say right across the freaking street? Yep!  It was at 630pm at a church across the street and down about a block.  Close enough this clumsy ass could possibly even walk there one week.

Anyway, See that Bookmark up there?  Notice anything?  Yep!  That my friends is another star for losing another 5 pounds!  I lost another 3.6 pounds this week.  I’m up to a total of 13 pounds.  Not too bad for 7 weeks.  I have officially lost over 5 % of my body weight and I’m only 15.7 pounds away from the first mini goal that I set.. which was to be in “onderland” by the time we get to Blog Blowout Houston in April, which is 8 weeks.   I need to average 2 pounds a week for the next 8 weeks because I’m bound and determined to be a smaller size before we paint H-town with our Jack Daniels-inspired t-shirts.  I’m already wearing belts with the two pairs of nice work slacks that I bought in December.

Anyway, my interview today sounded pretty promising.  It was at an IT placement agency and this isn’t even one of the jobs I have applied for this week.  They just happen to find my resume on Career Builder and called this morning.  The company is looking for an immediate placement to do Microsoft Office Tech Support, dealing mostly with Excel and Word.  Apparently they have had a hard time finding anyone certified.

*Yoo hoo!  Look over here!  Not only am I certifiable, I’m Microsoft Certified in Excel & Word & PowerPoint*

This placement would offer a significant pay increase and the agency even offers health insurance that is significantly cheaper than Cobra will be.  They also pay weekly which will be a nice change.  If I can only get this job and start next week, I wont have to even skip a beat with this job change and I got a weeks vacation to boot.  This job is a 3 month contract to hire.  That will give me income for 3 months and give me a chance to decide if I want to continue my job search or stay with this agency and see if they can find anything else, or maybe even be hired on full time.  My recruiter also sounded pretty positive that she might be able to find me a few IT Training contracts which would be totally up my alley.

I also applied to 22 positions thru the Baylor Health Center System and I have submitted a few resumes for other positions thru my amazing friends I have met thru this thing called the internet.  As I have said to many of the bitches in chat Wednesday night, I am so incredibly happy to be out of my old job.  It was a hostile working environment since day one (go read the other work posts about ExcelLady if you don’t know about her).  I have been job hunting since the day I started that job and my only regret is that I didn’t beat them to the punch. 

Things will work out ok.  Money may get a little tight if I dont find something by March 15th, but I’m pretty confident that I wont have to wait that long.  And let me tell you one thing, I sure as hell needed this vacation!

Thanks for all your thoughts & prayers… I think I’m gonna go work on catching up on my TIVO, I’m still 12 episodes of Oprah and 8 episodes of TheView behind.

What You Say?

Posted in Obessive Compulsive Geekdom by TheStolenOlive on February, 20 at 11:35 pmComments (0)


The English language is rather complicated and odd-yet a couple of letters can change the entire intent of a message.

Why isn’t “ocean” spelled oshun?
Why is it that ratio and patio are pronounced so differently?
What if you have patios with radios and need to know the ratio of
radios to patios?

When the English tongue we speak.
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
Will you tell me why it’s true
We say sew but likewise few?
And the maker of the verse,
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow but low is low
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose, dose,and lose
And think of goose and yet with choose
Think of comb, tomb and bomb,
Doll and roll or home and some.
Since pay is rhymed with say
Why not paid with said I pray?
Think of blood, food and good.
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Wherefore done, but gone and lone -
Is there any reason known?
To sum up all, it seems to me
Sound and letters don’t agree.

I Think I’m Sick

Posted in My Body Is Falling Apart, SkewedReality, Work by TheStolenOlive on February, 20 at 9:42 amComments (2)


Well, I know I only had two hours of sleep Sunday night, and yesterday just royally sucked, but I had a sore throat before yesterday’s drama even started.  After eating dinner I sat down on the couch to catch up on my TIVO that I missed all last week while I was staying at the hotel with the magical beds.  I don’t think I made it thru one show. I haven’t gotta clue what time I fell asleep on the couch last night, but I’m thinking it was pretty early, as I saw Nessa and Carrie’s comments on my last post, but I didn’t see Football Widow’s comment (39 minutes later) until I woke up the first time at 440am.

I woke up and couldn’t breathe, my throat hurt & my eyes were watering.  I went thru my drug cart to see if I had any meds in there.  I popped an Augmentin XL and went back to bed.  My eyes are still watering but at least I can breathe a little.

One of the sweet lady’s on my Weight Watchers DFW Community Board sent me a link this morning to a job fair this afternoon from 12 – 5.  Thanks ThinKat!  As I realized Sunday night when I was working on paperwork for that interview I was supposed to have yesterday morning, I am completely out of resume paper.

The Albertson’s here in the burbs is going out of business, so everything should be at close out prices.  I’m fixing to get dressed, go buy groceries & resume paper, and then come home & put on my jazzy business suit and go to the job fair.

Hopefully they won’t be able to tell I’m sick.

Today Went In A Totally Opposite Direction

Posted in SkewedReality, Work by TheStolenOlive on February, 19 at 7:31 pmComments (10)


Well, lets see here.  I thought I had a job interview this morning.  Stayed up way too late filling out all the paperwork for a job at a Bank.  Got 2 hours of sleep.  Got up and got jazzed up for an interview.  Drove halfway there before my cell phone rang and it was the lady I was supposed to be interviewing for.  I was told that my score on the online personality test I was required to take showed that my personality didn’t match the position.  WTF?

Then I go waste an hour eating breakfast at IHOP before going to work.  I arrived at work about 45 minutes earlier than I normally arrive.  Then about 930am my boss asked to talk to me and I walked into an ambush from which I walked out unemployed. 

I spent most of the day emailing and IM’ng a couple of bitches and my mother, working on cover letters and fixing up my resume.  I’m still running on only two hours of sleep, so I think I’m heading to bed soon.  If you are online tomorrow, feel free to holler at me, we all know I’ll be sitting at home being my unemployed self.


Posted in Weigh In Wednesday by TheStolenOlive on February, 15 at 1:31 pmComments (5)


The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and by Shakespeare.  Neither knew chocolate.  The Swiss are known for non-violence.  They are also known for Swiss Chocolate.

Another tragedy today is that after my weight watchers meeting today, I found out that I lost a precious daily point.  Every time you drop into another group of 10 pounds, you lose a point.  I lost 2.6 pounds this week for a total of 9.4 pounds, and am now down to 27 points per day instead of 28.

Two tragedies in one day :-)

Please Send Prayers and Vibes

Posted in Over My Head, SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on February, 15 at 11:21 amComments (4)


7:45 am Monday, February 19, 2007.

That’s all I’m going to say at this point.

A Migraine Can Kill A Mood

Posted in Holidays, My Body Is Falling Apart by TheStolenOlive on February, 14 at 2:54 pmComments (4)


This has been a busy week.  Work is crazy and I have a crap load of stuff to do.  I had one project that put me seriously behind on a few others.  I have a meeting today that I’m dreading.  It’s at Sixbucks.  I have been so busy that I forgot until about 12:30 that I hadn’t even eaten my breakfast yet.  Oops.

I’ve been staying at my mom’s hotel while she has been in town since Sunday night.  The hotel is really nice, the bed is huge and oh so fluffy and comfortable, and unlike my typical 20-40 minute drive to work, it’s been like 14.

Sunday night we went to find some place to eat and ran into a couple women who were in town for the same conference my mom is attending.  We ate dinner with them.  Monday night, my mom went out with her conference group while I ran home and packed a few clothes, when I returned, I grabbed something at the hotel restaurant.

Last night, we met my “sisters” for dinner.  My mom started babysitting T & T when they were 19 months and 1 month and 7 years later they were the flower girls in my parents wedding and have been family ever since.  We ate at Dream Cafe and it was so good and the company was awesome.  I work close to both of them, its a shame I don’t see them more often.

Today is crappy Valentine’s Day.  Big Whoop.  Just what we need is another Hallmark Holiday that only raises the profit margin of sappy cards and flower shops for one single day.  Seriously.  No one could possibly said most of the blogworld’s hatred of Valentine’s Day better than The Kept Woman did yesterday.  If you haven’t read that post, you need to.

Anyway, I guess that’s my 10 minute break for this afternoon.  Must get back to work and pray this damn migraine goes away before I strangle the thick stinch of roses in this room.

Am I The Only One

Posted in SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on February, 14 at 10:46 amComments (5)

Who thinks naming a BEER… Duche De Longueville…. is just wrong? 





I Need Your Help

Posted in SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on February, 13 at 11:22 pmComments (6)

I need to find out which Wal Mart carries this mirror. 



Mammograms: Are You Afraid To Get One?

Posted in SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on February, 13 at 11:30 amComments (5)


Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.


Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.

Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn’t effective enough.


Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.


Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.

Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.


Waste Of Space Monday: Obama is Pro-Slavery?

Posted in Waste Of Space Monday by TheStolenOlive on February, 12 at 12:01 amComments (4)


Well, it’s Monday again and it’s time for Waste of Space Monday, the brainchild of “the one who is just so bored,” where we highlight the biggest idiots in the world.  It’s like the blog version of the Darwin Awards. 

Every day on the radio station I listen to in the mornings they do a segment called “They walk among us.”  I wish they would put links to the stories they talk about on their website because I can never seem to remember them on Monday and/or can’t find a link to the perpetrator.  Therefore, I don’t always have the perfect nominee for Waste of Space every week, but I certainly have a gem this time. 

Somehow, I’m totally not suprised that there is that little red, white and blue cube in the bottom corner of this picture displaying the words “FAUX News.”


Bill Kristol is the imbecile of the week.  He was on Fox News Sunday with Chris Wallace yesterday morning and not only has he decided that we are going to elect a “War President in 2008″ was heard imply that Obama is Pro-Slavery.

“KRISTOL: We’re electing a war president in 2008. If I can go back to Obama and Lincoln for just one second, Lincoln’s “house divided” speech in 1858 was a speech saying we cannot live as a house divided on slavery. And he implicitly says we’ll have to fight a civil war if necessary on this.

Obama’s speech is a “can’t we get along” speech — sort of the opposite of Lincoln. He would have been with Stephen Douglas in 1858. Let’s paper over these differences, rise above politics and all get along. That’s not Giuliani’s mode. And I think in a war context, social conservatives want to win the war against Islamic jihadism.”

You can go listen to the interview here.

Someone needs to slap this guy back to 1858 and not let him come back.

Still Not Ready To Make Nice

Posted in Politics and Bitching, SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on February, 11 at 10:40 pmComments (2)


In April of last year the Dixie Chicks released a new album and new single.  The single that went crazy on YouTube and made their new CD one of the fastest selling albums, before it was ever even released, was Not Ready To Make Nice.  It was an in your face statement to those who quit playing their music, burned their CDs and even sent them death threats … which told them to Shut Up And Sing.

Well, in case you missed it, tonight was the 49th Annual Grammy Awards.  The Dixie Chicks, termed the comeback darlings, were nominated for 5 awards, including Song of the Year, Best Country Record of the Year and Album of the Year. 

THEY WON 5 OUT OF THE 5 AWARDS THEY WERE NOMINATED FOR!  That’s what I call a sweep ladies & gentlemen.

As Natalie said in her acceptance speech, People, like this loud mouth here, are using their 1st amendment right and making a statement.

Amen, Natalie…. Take that Bush.

And, for the record… I’m not ashamed he’s from Texas, I’m ashamed he is from Planet Earth!


The Death Of A Culinary Mine

Posted in Family, Food, Nostalgia, SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on February, 11 at 3:37 pmComments (4)


As I might have mentioned earlier last week, my mother is on her way to Dallas.  She will be attending a conference tomorrow thru Thursday for work.  I instant messaged her and asked if she wanted to take me to dinner tonight, I mean, hey, what are parents for?

She mentioned that she would be staying not far from our favorite restaurant in the world.  Last I had heard it had been closed for remodeling but was scheduled to be reopened about the time Victory Park opened near American Airlines Center.  Well, Victory Park is now open so I decided to find out if the home of the best foodgasmic Beer Cheese Soup was open yet.

Friends, Internets, I’m here to tell you, my heart is aching.  My heart is broken and empty.  Baby Doe’s Matchless Mine is gone.  I don’t mean that they never finished the remodeling, I mean they freaking tore down the damn building.

If you were reading this blog during it’s first month, three URLs ago, you would remember me mentioning my last wonderful delicous amazing experience at Baby Doe’s.  My love affair with this restaurant that was just about as old as I was started when I was four years old.  Yes, you heard me, FOUR!

My parents took me to the Matchless Mine for my fourth birthday.  I remember having my feelings hurt by the dumb waitress.  Why was she a dumb waitress?  Well, she came to our table and she asked my mother what I wanted to drink.  My mother looked at me and said, “Aimee, what do you want to drink?” to which I replied straight to the watiress, “Tea with Lemon please”  Then, after returning to our drinks and beginning to take our order, the obviously learning impaired dork waitress, again turns to my mother to ask her what I wanted to eat.  UM, hello dumb bitch, I have a mouth!

Again, My mother looked at me and said, “Aimee, what do you want to eat?” to which I replied “8oz Prime Rib, Medium-Rare with a loaded baked potato and a cup of Beer Cheese Soup”  When the dork walked away my mom said there were tears in my eyes because I couldn’t understand why the waitress couldn’t ask ME what I wanted.  Dumb Bitch.

*CLIMBING ONTO SOAP BOX* (please remember sandbox rules)

Kid’s have mouths.  Yes, it is your job as a parent to discuss with the child what the child wants to eat BEFORE the waitress arrives at your table, but it is NOT your damn job to order for them.  They have mouths and they should use them.  Ordering is a viable part of table manners and how to act in a fancy restaurant and way too many parents hinder this learning process.


I know you are all rolling your eyes because you think I’m making this up, but… 1) I have been a foodie my entire life, born to a father who is a foodie and has worked in the grocery business for 48 years (many of them in epicurean and gourmet style stores); 2) My parents made sure I knew how to act in a 5 star restaurant before I was out of diapers and 3) I totally remember this entire night.

Yes, my first experience there drew tears, but one bite of that perfectly moist and pink slice of medium-rare prime rib melted away all my sorrows.  I also remember for dessert I had a crystal glass full of dark chocolate dark chocolate chip ice cream.

We returned to Baby Doe’s for my 9th birthday.  My parents and I came up from Houston to Dallas to go to Sesame Place and eat dinner at Baby Doe’s a couple of days after my birthday.  We had really good timing for leaving Houston but apparently we didn’t go far enough north, because the remnants of what WAS Hurricane Alicia hit Dallas on August 19, 1983.  I think in the history books, it technically hit Houston in the early morning hours the day before.

Twice while a student at Baylor, I drove up to Dallas to eat at Baby Doe’s.  Once was for Valentine’s Day in 1995 and the second was a 6th or 7th month anniversary (I can’t remember) .  In 2003, while working at the manufacturing company in “TheArmpitOfHell,” I knew my parents were coming up to Dallas to attend the Gaither Homecoming Concert over Valentine’s weekend as they do every year.  I called Baby Doe’s, made reservations for two, and left my credit card number with the manager.  Then I designed an invitation and faxed it to my parent’s hotel room and it was waiting on their bed for them when they arrived.

A cold front came into Dallas that weekend while they were attending concerts Friday night and all day Saturday.  Sunday morning, they got up and had a nice warm seat for two right in front of the fire and they still say that meal was the best restaurant dining experience of their lives.

In 2005, I had moved to Dallas and was going to Culinary School and working at Panera Bread.  I asked off for Sunday and made reservations again for Valentine’s Weekend as I knew my parents would be returning for the Gaither’s, only this time I made the reservations for THREE!

I hadn’t been back to Baby Doe’s since that February Sunday morning in 2005, since it closed down for remodeling within 6 months.  After finding out they had torn down this mine of culinary genius, I started searching as I knew there were locations in Kentucky & in Colorado.  My heart just aches as both of those locations are now closed also.  The Colorado location was closed because it was sliding down the mountain.

Now, I have to find somewhere else for my mother and I to eat dinner tonight, but nothing in this world will ever live up to the Prime Rib and Beer Cheese soup at my first culinary love…. Baby Doe’s Matchless Mine.

*Edited to Add: While waiting tables at Casa Ole’ in college, I had a ”lady” cuss me out for asking her SIXTEEN year old daughter what she wanted to order instead of the mother.  Give me a freaking break.  My manager threw them out and told them not to come back until they could treat the wait staff with common sense & courtesy.  The stupid thing is, before my manager arrived on the scene, the mother turned around and ordered the 16 yr old the exact same damn thing the 16 yr old had ordered in the first place.

Let’s Get To Work!

Posted in Politics and Bitching by TheStolenOlive on February, 10 at 10:31 pmComments (1)


The announcement I have been waiting for and praying for was made this morning.  Barack Obama has announced his candidacy for President of the United States of America.  His speech is full of goals and ambitions we should all share as Americans.

If you did not see the announcement, please go watch it here.

If you are in the DFW area, there is a Obama Dallas Meeting being held a week from Monday at 7pm at the Clarion Hotel on LBJ.  There are limited seats so go to Barack and sign up to attend.  Who’s with me?

SPF: I’m Looking For Something In Red

It’s Friday people.  It’s Friday people and it’s PAYDAY!  Y’all know what that means.  It means it is time for Stuff Portrait Friday!  Kristine’s assignment this week, as suggested by “the best person to have around when your clumsy ass is so excited to see Bill Clinton that you fall down the stairs walking into the theater”…. Mrs. Dallas Ks, is to take a picture of something in red.  

When I started thinking about a title for this post, Lorrie Morgan’s song, Something in Red, started playing in my head and now I can’t get it out.  Then, when I started typing.. It’s Friday people … in my head I started to hear:  “There’s a party over here, a party over there, Wave your hands in the air, Shake the deriere, Whoomp There It Is! Whoomp There It Is!”. 


I was looking around the house for something in red.  I thought about taking a picture of my hair that was intentionally colored a new shade of red Wednesday night after Bitch Chat.  I thought of taking a picture of my left buttocks where I am most likely going to have a bruise in the morning from falling down the stairs.  But then I remembered the perfect thing to showcase in this week’s SPF.  Flowers.  Not just any flowers, but the flowers that sat on the stage last night next to Bill Clinton’s bottle of Fuji water.


Have you ever gone to a lecture or a concert or anything where you left with a feeling of hope for the future that you didn’t have when you walked in?  (Especially when you were wondering if you are going to be able “walk” out of the place when you get done.)  All the way back to the ‘burbs, Kami and I kept saying. WOW! Just WOW!

What an amazing night.  I had a blast.  Thanks for going with me Kami!

“Sorry ma’am, this is Starbucks, we don’t have the Captain.”

Scared I’m Gonna Lose A Point

Posted in Weigh In Wednesday by TheStolenOlive on February, 8 at 3:43 pmComments (4)

Well yall.  Today is Thursday and yall know what that means.  This girl has to go to her Weight Watchers meeting and stand up on a scale.

Well, lookie lookie at what I got today.


No, not the bookmark you goober (you get that on your second week).  It’s the star!  The star that says I have lost 5 pounds.  Actually I have lost 6.8 pounds but you only get stars for 5 pound marks.  My nice black slacks I bought for my interview in December are actually sitting on my hip bones.

Some of you might have heard about Kami’s 27 point stew.  I guess it didn’t mess me up too bad because I dropped 2.2 pounds this week.  The issue I see coming soon is that your daily points target is based on your weight.  Once you drop into another set of 10s (150, 160, 170, etc. you get the picture), you lose a point.  If I lose another 1.8 pounds, I will lose a point.

At this rate.. I better enjoy those extra 8 points this week.  Cause they are gonna be GONE next week.

A Story In Pictures


Yesterday at work there was an email distributed that there were extra tickets to go


to it in the yellow section 


to see


I am so excited because in about 15 minutes I am going to leave work, go home and change clothes, meet up with Mrs.DallasK, and drive to go listen to one of the greatest Presidents this country has ever seen.

Genealogical Humor

Posted in SkewedReality by TheStolenOlive on February, 8 at 2:49 pmComments (2)


I gained a fascination with genealogy back when I was in high school.  My mother and I used to go to the libraries on Saturdays trying to find my grandmother’s real family.  It’s a complicated story but very interesting and if you are not careful you can get addicted.

There is a family tree completed on my father’s side back to the 1700s.  My maternal grandfather’s family tree has been traced back to the beginning days of the US and I am a direct decentent of both John Adams and John Quincy Adams.  My maternal grandmother, Nana ‘s side is where it gets interesting.

Nana’s grandmother died when Nana’s mother (MamaC) was born.  MamaC had 3 siblings that we know of.  When MamaC was about 2 years old, her father decided he could no longer care for all of his children and supposedly just gave her to some people down the street.  He also tried to get them to take one of the sisters but they refused.

The family that took MamaC moved to Texas from Arkansas but we want to find the rest of her natural family.  The problem is, if you have ever done any genealogical research, you will find that the census in 1890 was burned.  So we don’t know what happened to them.

Anyway, a long story, just to tell you that these few little snipets of humor showed up in my email box today on a genealogy listserv.  I thought they were humorous so I decided to share them with you all.  Enjoy.

1. Our 2nd great-grandfather was found dead crossing the plains in the library.

2. He and his daughter are listed as not being born.

3. I would like to find out if I have any living relatives or dead relatives or ancestors in my family.

4. Will you send me a list of all the Dripps in your library?

5. My Grandfather died at the age of 3.

6. We are sending you 5 children in a separate envelope.

7. Documentation: Family Bible in possession of Aunt Merle until the tornado hit Topeka, Kansas. Now only the Good Lord knows where it is.

8. The wife of #22 could not be found. Somebody suggested that she might have been stillborn–what do you think?

9. I am mailing you my aunt and uncle and 3 of their children.

10. Enclosed please find my Grandmother. I have worked on her for 30 years without success. Now see what you can do!

11. I have a hard time finding myself in London. If I were there I was very small and cannot be found.

12. This family had 7 nephews that I am unable to find. If you know who they are, please add them to the list.

13. We lost our Grandmother, will you please send us a copy?

14. Will you please send me the name of my first wife? I have forgotten her name.

15. A 14-year-old boy wrote: “I do not want you to do my research for me. Will you please send me all of the material on the Welch line, in the U.S., England and Scotland countries? I will do the research.”

16. I would like to know how many descendants I really have?